Human to Human: Why Connection is Everything

I’ve had a lot of conversations in my life — sales calls, leadership coaching, customer meetings, team huddles, interviews, podcast recordings. But every once in a while, a conversation stops you in your tracks and makes you think deeper about how you show up, why you do what you do, and who you are when no one’s watching.

This was one of those conversations.

I sat down with my dear friend Richard Vickers — a man who radiates wisdom, humor, peace, and truth — and what unfolded was more than a discussion on communication. It was a clinic on what it means to lead, love, listen, and live as a human being, not just a human doing.

Richard said something early on that hit me hard:

“The person standing in front of you is not the person you’re having the conversation with.”

Let that sink in.

We think we’re talking to someone in a meeting, a pitch, a tough conversation — but we’re actually speaking to their lived experiences, their stress, their joy, their ego, their fear, their past wounds, their current pressures.

We’re not talking to a LinkedIn profile, a job title, or a digital square on a Zoom screen. We’re talking to a soul with a story.

Communication Isn’t Just a Skill — It’s the Lifeblood of Everything

This conversation reminded me that communication is the heartbeat of every relationship that matters — whether it’s with your spouse, your children, your team, your clients, or yourself.

It’s not just about what you say. It’s about how you see the other person.

“If you can’t paint a picture, if you can’t tell a story, if you can’t get into the shoes of the other person… you’re not going to be successful — not just in selling, but in life.” – Richard Vickers

That’s not just theory. That’s truth, earned through life, leadership, love, and lessons.

The Hardest Conversations Are the Most Important Ones

I wasn’t born into a world of emotional intelligence. I was taught to hit a quota, close a deal, deliver results. I had a manager who used to quote Gordon Gekko from Wall Street to me every morning. I was programmed to be a sales machine.

But machines don’t build trust. People do.

Over the years — especially through my time at Microsoft and as a leader — I’ve learned that the real magic in any career or relationship comes down to how we show up.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being present.

Some of the best conversations I’ve had with my team didn’t come from a carefully prepared agenda. They came when I asked simple questions like:

“What are you most proud of this week?”“What’s giving you the most struggle?”“What can I take off your plate?”Show Me the Person, Not the Persona

In today’s digital, noisy world, everyone’s putting up a front. We’ve all got armor. But real leadership — and real love — begins when we’re brave enough to lower the shield.

“We are not just human doings. We’re human beings who are doing.” – Richard Vickers

That quote has stayed with me. Because the truth is, it’s easier to chase a sales quota than to show up consistently as a loving spouse, present parent, or authentic leader. But the latter is where the legacy is built.

We can’t afford to go into conversations thinking only about what we need.

We have to ask: What does this person need to feel safe, heard, seen, and valued? What story are they bringing into this moment? What pain? What hope?

Practical Ways to Improve Your Communication Starting Now

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay Carson, but how do I actually get better at this?” — here’s what I’d offer:

Start every conversation with curiosity. Don’t just ask what they’re working on — ask how they’re doing as a person.

Use open, human questions: “What are you most proud of this week?” “What’s been hardest for you lately?” “How can I support you better?”

Be willing to pivot. Sometimes the most important conversation isn’t the one you planned for — it’s the one that needs to happen.

Communicate with intention, not just instinct. Think beyond your script or your agenda. Think legacy. Think trust. Think human.

Practice presence. Put the phone down. Pause your thoughts. Really listen.

Be agile. As Richard said, if you’re still communicating the same way you did five weeks ago, you’re missing the mark. People change. Situations change. Stay alert.

The Real Goal Is Not to Close the Deal. It’s to Open the Relationship.

I’ve made my entire career going against the grain — not just selling, but adding value, building trust, earning the right to advise, and walking alongside others on their journey.

The real differentiator in any business isn’t price, product, or pitch — it’s you.

When you show up with transparency, empathy, reliability, and authenticity… you become someone people want to work with. You become someone people trust.

And when that happens, everything changes.

“Our purpose is to help other humans in this life. And if we can’t help them… let’s at least not hurt them.” – The Dalai Lama (quoted by Richard)

That, to me, is what communication is all about.

Take the Balcony View

If you’re stuck in the day-to-day grind, I get it. I’ve been there. But take a moment today — right now — to zoom out.

Ask yourself:

Who do I need to reconnect with?

What relationship have I been neglecting?

How can I show up better — at home, at work, with my team, with my clients?

We all get one shot at this life. One chance to leave a legacy. One opportunity to make people feel seen, heard, and valued.

Let’s not waste it by speaking words that don’t connect to hearts.

Let’s lead, love, and live human to human.

#Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #CommunicationSkills #AuthenticLeadership #ModernSelling #HumanConnection #SalesLeadership #RelationshipBuilding #PersonalGrowth