An Itch I can't scratch

I remember watching people that could put one hand over their shoulder and the other hand behind their backs, and join their hands. Incredible flexibility, with an amazing side effect: They never needed a wall to scratch their backs!
So, I've made it a goal to do the same thing. So far, my two hands are about a foot apart. Every time I stretch, I am trying to get them closer. The way things are looking, I'm going to need a sharp wall to handle my itches for quite a while yet.
I've also made some writer's goals: I am going to add intensity, disappointment and betrayal into my stories, and try to hold them longer. I won't be an effective writer until I do it.
Maybe the two goals will be realized at the same time. Maybe not too, but if I have to choose one or the other, I guess I can live with using a wall...