LINDSEY’S WRITING PRACTICE

Getting down to the Concrete

(Concrete Diction Exercise )

Dr. Lindsey Martin-Bowen 

Hello to all budding—and extremely experienced—writers out there in Cyberworld. In my three-plus decades of teaching literature and writing (all levels/all sorts), I’ve used the following exercise at the onset of each semester for nearly all writing classes—from beginners to published writers, and it’s even been a hit at faculty conferences where writing teachers have enjoyed performing the exercise—then later sharing it with students. Thus, have fun. (I had so much fun with it, I set up a second set of vague sentences to be revised with concrete diction (by writing at least two sensual descriptions in each one). I’ll share that one sometime in the future. But for now, Enjoy!

Getting down to the Concrete

(Concrete Diction Exercise 1)

Vagueness and generalities are the writer’s worst enemies. Thus, as writers, we must become “camcorders” to recreate visual, auditory, and tactile descriptions. Such descriptions are “concrete details.” Please rewrite each of the following sentences by using as many concrete details as possible. Use sensory descriptions including details. Doing this will cause the reader to see, hear, feel, taste,  or smell what you have recounted.

Here are hints about the first one: 

She was happy because of the good grade on her exam. Note the vague 

(or equivocating) language with “happy” and “good.” I mean, really—did 

she smile quietly at a desk or jump up and down or turn cartwheels down  

the hallway? And what was the grade? What sort of exam? 

The people in line for registration looked bored and tired. The foreman was obviously upset. The appliance made a funny noise. The room was an incredible mess when she finished her project. The attendant’s coat was worn and dirty. The old car was badly battered. The secretary looked sick. The spectators were very excited after the winning touchdown. The players on the losing team were very discouraged when they came from the locker room. 

_______________________________________

About Lindsey Martin-Bowen