Monkey Makes A Mistake

Every mistake must be paid for, rarely by the person who committed it. ~Jacques Deval, French playwright, screenwriter, and film director

I Monkey here.

Mama says confession is good for the soul. I don’t know about that, but if I can teach another pup NOT to do what I’ve done, then maybe confession is all right.

Don’t thank me — I’m generous like that (or at least, I’m trying to be, it being Lent and all!)

One Saturday evening last month, Mama dropped a green ball on the floor, and I was on it in a heartbeat.

Man, was it good!

Cold, juicy, slippery. And just the right size for my puppy mouth.

But Mama had a hissy-fit.

She screamed “No!” at me. She grabbed the furs at the back of my neck. She stomped her foot on the floor.

But it was too late. That ball had been devoured, and I was looking around for another one.

What was this yummy ball, you ask? It was a grape.

And for those who aren’t aware, grapes are toxic to dogs.

Mama grabbed her phone and left a message for my dogtur. She went on Google and found that even one grape can kill a pup.

Imagine that!

Well, she screamed some more and called me all sorts of things good mamas don’t say (especially during Lent).

Then she debated whether to make me vomit or not. The online jury was split over whether that was a good thing, and Mama went with the crowd saying NOT, unless it was under a dogtur’s supervision.

When Dogtur finally got back to Mama, she advised her to watch me closely for signs of kidney failure.

Say what??

Yep, grape poisoning symptoms can take 24-48 hours to show up, and they typically affect the kidneys. That goes for stuff made with grapes, like jelly or fruit juice, too.

I knew this was serious when Mama started crying and fretting over my impending death, saying she wasn’t ready to send another pup to the Rainbow Bridge this soon.

All weekend, Mama didn’t sleep worth beans. She watched me. And that was weird because I Monkey am the one who usually watches her.

Well, I didn’t vomit. Didn’t have diarrhea. Wasn’t lethargic. Didn’t lose my appetite. Didn’t pee more than usual.

In short, no symptoms of distress.

Nevertheless, Mama had me down at Dogtur’s office first thing Monday morning.

Dogtur ran a blood test, and my kidney function was perfectly normal!

(My brofur, the Domer, says it figures that I, who was such a sick pup for the entire first year of my life, would be able to survive eating a grape with no ill effects!)

Anyway, Dogtur urged Mama to keep watching me because sometimes symptoms of grape toxicity take a while to develop. I Monkey think I’m fine — it’s been more than three weeks already. Still, I’ve got some vaccinations coming up in April, and Dogtur will run another kidney function test then to make double-sure I’m okay.

In the meantime, Mama’s not taking any chances. She pens me off every meal-time out of fear I’ll snatch something else that’s okay for humans but not for dogs (like raisins or chocolate):

I need a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card, Mama!

The moral of this story?

For you humans, teach your pups “Leave It” and “Drop It.” Those commands could save their lives. In all fairness, Mama tried, but I Monkey refused to learn. (I’m stubborn like that).

For you pups, when your pawrent says you shouldn’t eat something, they’re not doing it to be mean. Rather, they’re doing it because they love you (and because they’re fond of sleeping at night!)

Signing off,

I Monkey, grape-eater (and despite the date of this post, this is not an April Fool’s joke!!)