Coaching Blog – The Three B’s (Basics) of Resilience
Last month, we began our series on resilience by discussing the importance of belief���believing in God, in yourself, in your mission, in your leaders, and in your teammates. Without those strong beliefs, perseverance becomes far more difficult.
So, this month, I want to focus on three of the beliefs that are in the foundation of resilience.
This coaching clip expands on this idea. Please watch, and then continue reading the blog below ���
The Three Essential Beliefs
Believe in Yourself: You Are Here for a Purpose
Each of us has been uniquely gifted with talents and a personality that equip us for a special mission in life. As fighter pilots and airmen in Vietnam, my fellow POWs and I were confident in our ability to execute our mission. However, when we were captured and thrown into prison camps, suffering became our new reality. In those difficult years, our leaders provided us with a simple yet powerful mission statement: Resist, Survive, and Return with Honor.
In moments of suffering, courage and inner strength become non-negotiable. That does not mean you won���t experience fear, sadness, or doubt���but when you believe in yourself and your mission, you are more likely to endure, find purpose even in hardship, and ultimately bounce back to lead a fulfilling life.
Believe in Others: Strength Through Shared Resilience
One of the greatest sources of strength in adversity is the belief we place in others���and the belief they place in us. In the POW camps, we had remarkable leaders like CDR Denton, Lt. Col. Risner, and CDR Stockdale, who endured captivity for seven and a half years. Their resilience inspired us all. They not only led us, but they also sought our perspectives, humbly reinforcing the principle that leadership is about trust and mutual respect.
During my captivity, I shared a cell with Capt. Ken Fisher for five years. He endured more torture and suffering than I did, yet he always bounced back with an unbreakable spirit. Despite my own struggles, he believed in me, treating me with respect and thus encouraging resilience. His example shaped the person I am today.
We all have the opportunity to be that example for someone else. Others look to us for strength during difficult times, whether they voice it or not.
���When you believe in others���and when they know you believe in them���you create a network of resilience that sustains everyone through hardship.��� [Tweet This]
Believe in the Future: Vision Beyond Hardship
In captivity, we had no books, magazines, television, or radio���except for the propaganda broadcasts of Hanoi Hannah. Without distractions, we had nothing but time to think and reflect. I found myself examining my past, learning from my failures, and, most importantly, imagining my future.
Even in suffering, maintaining a vision for the future is powerful. After three months in the Hanoi Hilton, I spent two months mentally designing a farm, expanding it from 60 to 640 acres. Later, I imagined becoming a lawyer, determining what kind of law I would practice and where I would go to school. After our release, though I remained in the Air Force for another 17 years, I did own a farm for five years and always enjoyed advocating for others, or presenting evidence that we should alter our direction���just as I had envisioned.
Other POWs used the same strategy. Two men designed their dream homes in their minds while imprisoned���and later built them. A former Naval Academy golfer spent hours visualizing his golf swing. Two months after we returned home, he was invited to play in the New Orleans Open Pro-Am on Saturday where he shot a 79���equal to or better than four professional golfers that weekend.
Even in the darkest of times, belief in a future beyond the struggle can be a source of motivation and endurance.
Finding Strength Through Belief
Believing in yourself and in others strengthens your ability to navigate life’s challenges. In situations where the outcome is uncertain and beyond your control, staying positive, living honorably, and doing your best are the only choices that lead to growth. When you emerge from suffering, you will find yourself stronger and more prepared for life���s next mission.
At our NamPOW reunion in 2015, six of us sat around a table, reminiscing about our experiences. One of my fellow former POWs said, “I would never volunteer to be a POW, but I wouldn���t change a thing. I���m a better man, and I���ve had a great life.” Every single one of us nodded in agreement.
There are blessings that can emerge from suffering���if we choose to believe. Next month, we���ll explore how to bounce back after hardship.
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