If Kids Don’t Understand the Feedback, It’s a Waste of Time

I haven’t used this blog in a long time. With the move back to Denmark, navigating the world as a mom of neurodivergent kids, and just the world (waving hands around me), this blog has been quiet. But with the decision to shut down my Patreon, I also might just come back here more. After all, my mind is still going a million miles a minute and perhaps, somewhere, someone could use a few of the ideas that I have. So hello again. It’s nice to be here.

Ever had a kid read your carefully written comment—something insightful, brilliant even—only to ask, “What does that mean?” Yeah. Me too.

If feedback is just for us, if it’s full of teacher-speak or rubrics no one actually reads, kids will ignore it. Not because they don’t care, but because it doesn’t feel like theirs.

Let’s fix that.

Instead of handing them a rubric, build it with them. Here’s how:

1️⃣ Look at real work – Show them examples (past student work, mentor texts, whatever fits). Ask: What makes this good? What makes it confusing? Let them lead.

2️⃣ List what matters – Write down their words. Not “clear transitions” but “It flows” or “I know what’s happening.” Keep it in their language, not ours.

3️⃣ Make it theirs – Turn their words into a checklist, an anchor chart, or a simple, student-friendly rubric. Let them help decide what matters most.

4️⃣ Use it. Every time. – When they write, when they revise, when they give each other feedback. Ask, “How does your work match what we said makes this strong?”

If we want kids to actually use feedback, it has to belong to them. Because the best feedback isn’t what we tell them—it’s what they understand enough to use.