The Little Book of the Dead - Laura

 

Itis probably winter, from the window—a narrow window, quite low-positioned, notdistant from the floor—enters a strong white light, a winter light I suppose,outside the monastery where this scene happened has the appearance of beingcold but the sky is clear and sunny.
The room is completely dark, enlightened by the beam of light coming from thenarrow window. A Caravaggesque atmosphere throbbing in that chiaroscuro scene.

Atthe center of the room there is a big and high bed.
On the right side two women are standing by and talking, one is my mother she’salmost hidden in the dark, the other woman tall and slim in a white night-gownwith long and flowing grey hair her mother (my grandmother Laura) they talk.
I am close to the window and watch outside, I am scared, I do not listen totheir chats, I want to leave that place and get out into the light to thefreedom, I am choking there.
I am choking for a fault I don’t know yet, I feel guilty for a guilt yet tocome, a guilt I will nurture within me like a hard clot in my blood all my lifewhen I think of Laura - my grandmother.