While I didn’t have wild expectations, I did have some low-bar desires like readers not FUCKING HATING MY BOOK.
Check out Part 1 of my Adventures in Book Publicity: Goals
A Loser Before I Got Out of the GateI stated in my last post that my goal for my book was connection and that kept me grounded, but I’m not dead inside!
Obviously, on some level, I did want people to like the book or else why bother to write work for an audience or publication?
While I didn’t have wild expectations, I did have some low-bar desires like readers not FUCKING HATING MY BOOK.
The reason I was able to keep focused on connection and not external validation throughout the publicity process is that three terribly disappointing things happened before the book came out.
The Goodreads/Net Galley ReviewsThe first one was my fault.
In the lead up to the pub date, I did what everyone tells you NOT to do: I read the Goodreads and NetGalley reviews of the book.
Dear reader, they were not nice.
A one star reviewer wrote:
“I did not finish this book, I got about 30 pages into it, just couldn’t do it. Reminded me of Gabbie Hanna poetry in fiction form, felt very fake deep.”
Another wrote:
“Well, this was just not an easy-to-read "NOVEL" .It was not at all funny, entertaining, or even a point to this. I am afraid I couldn't finish this one.”
And a two-start review read:
“Author Mockler recounts her horrific childhood and young adult years in a series of, as the title says, "anecdotes." Taken as a whole, it's a damning indictment of the systems that are supposed to keep children safe, including family, teachers, and others. That said, I don't understand the hype for the writing, which I found kind of lacking impetus and life.”
I share these god-awful reviews from readers—two of whom did not even finish the book—in the event there is some debut writer out there reading this after checking out their own terrible ARC reviews. Trust me. It is a badge of honour.
I cried and then I laughed. And then I came around to liking the descriptor “fake deep”.
Brushing myself off, I decided I would be “strong” in the face of criticism!
Yeah right.
Not Being Included on a Gigantic ListThe second thing that happened was that the book was not included on a huge list.
Now that few media outlets publish reviews, literary spaces at the CBC, The Toronto Star, and The Globe & Mail are filled up with these GIGANTIC lists which basically use the publisher’s back cover copy to describe the book and then claim that these are the season’s “books to watch”. Did AI come up with this list? We’ll never know.
While they make great publicity pieces for writers and publicists to share on social media, they pretty much say nothing about the books.
I rarely get worked up about not being on an actual curated list of say 10, 20, or even 30 books. I mean, it’s all subjective, but, oh man, does it hurt to not be included on a list of 78 of “best” new books of the season by a major media outlet.
Talk about not getting invited to the party!
You can tell yourself the lists are silly and that they include so many books they render themselves meaningless; however, it certainly feels like everyone got a participation ribbon except you when your book is not on a list like that.
And honestly, it does hurt.
But again I was going to be strong in the face of disappointment, I told myself!
Being ForgottenThe final thing that happened prior to the launch of Anecdotes was that a writer I deeply admire accidentally told me they forgot having read my book.
Nothing curbs the ego than a blow like that.
Most writers would rather someone hate their writing than forget it. Unfortunately this sent my fragile ego into a spiral.
I get it though—this writer reads a ton of books. More than I ever could in a year and sometimes you do forget books you read.
I’m actually extremely grateful this happened because it really set my expectations in check, and forced me to GET OVER MYSELF!
Rock BottomThe publishing roller-coaster had began, and it caught me off guard.
It wasn’t really rock bottom, but in my mind (by the way a writer cannot trust their mind in book launch season), I had hit rock bottom. The book was terrible and everyone hated it, so I really had no where to go but up.
This, my friends, ended up being a really good thing.
And in some weird way it was actually a relief. My worst fears about publishing a book were realized in a short span of time and I didn’t melt or die.
I figured I had two choices—I could crawl into a hole and wait for the launch season to pass or I could pick myself up (even if it hurt and I didn’t feel like it), reframe my purpose, and give the book a chance despite feeling it was a loser before it got out of the gate.
A lot of people had put effort into this book.
This wasn’t just about me.
I thought of my editor Malcolm Sutton who reading typo-riddled draft after typo-riddled draft edited this book with such care and who also designed the best book cover a writer could ask for. Surely I could promote the book based on the cover alone!
I thought of my publishers—Hazel and Jay—and their team who put blood, sweat, and tears into publishing wonderful books and who do so much behind-the-scenes work to get writing into the world that might otherwise not be published (if it were up to, say, a conglomerate).
I thought of my husband who had emotionally supported me throughout the long and difficult writing process and who also had read numerous drafts and provided feedback. Seriously cheers to anyone who has to live with a writer when the writing is not going well!
I thought of the things I was writing about sexual abuse, addiction, climate, oppression—these ideas were important to me and impacted others. Maybe I wrote about them imperfectly, but the ideas in and of themselves were still important.
So I took these thoughts and FORCED myself to change my mindset about the book publicity and how I felt about the book.
MindsetEven though I find some forms of book promotion fun (social media, making videos, writing essays), I’m actually a person who doesn’t like to draw attention to themselves.
Yes, it’s a contradiction; we are all made of contractions.
So how does someone who gets anxious at drawing attention to themselves show up for their own book especially when they believe the book is terrible and everyone hates it?
I decided that my feelings about the book were going to be irrelevant, and I was going to act as if I were doing book publicity for someone else.
Instead of trying to sell my book for me, which would leave me feeling desperate, self-conscious, and demoralized, I framed my promotion activities as being in service of supporting my publisher.
Book*hug is an independent press who publishes politically relevant writing. Check out books by , Jacob Wren, Anita Anand,, Shani Mootoo, Zoe Whittall, Ben Ladouceur and vital translations of Caroline Dawson, Chantal Neveu, and Bertrand Laverdure to see what kind of cool shit they publish.
I believe what they do is important, and it is one of the reasons I wanted to work with them on this book.
If they don’t sell books, they can’t do their great work. So I felt a responsibility to contribute to the press that was supporting my writing.
This mindset shifted everything for me and helped me be less self-conscious when it came to promoting myself because I wasn’t doing it just for me.
This allowed me to take wild creative risks like making this really foolish and embarrassing promotional video that ended up doing pretty well on Instagram.
Turning off the tap of my very all-over-the-place feelings allowed me to do the work I needed to do.
While I cannot tell an author to not feel discouraged when upsetting things happen, I can say with confidence that it is in the realm of possibility to show up for your book and your self-promotion even when you feel shitty and when you feel like all hope is lost.
Ask yourself why is this book important to you? And how would you promote your book if you weren’t the author of it?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Check out Part 1 of My Adventures in Book Publicity
Part 3 coming soon!
Kathryn Mockler is the author of the story collection Anecdotes (Book*hug Press, 2023), which won the 2024 Victoria Butler Book Prize and was a finalist for the 2024 Trillium Book Award, 2023 Danuta Gleed Literary Award, 2024 Fred Kerner Award, and 2024 VMI Besty Warland Between Genres Award. She co-edited the print anthology Watch Your Head: Writers and Artists Respond to the Climate Crisis (Coach House Books, 2020). Her films have screened at TIFF, EMFA, the Palm Springs Film Festival and most recently at the Arizona Underground Film Festival and REELPoetry/HoustonTX. She runs the literary newsletter Send My Love to Anyone and teaches screenwriting and fiction in the Writing Department at the University of Victoria.Featured Campaign - RAVENRAVEN, supports Indigenous Justice by raising legal defence funds for Indigenous Peoples in Canada to defend rights and the integrity of lands and cultures.
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