Shelf-Life #5: A Man on the Moon
Some books are a call to action. Such was Andrew Chaikin’s A Man on the Moon. This book set me off on two paths of discovery: one on the U.S. space program before the space shuttle era; the other was one to see if I could be part of that program.
It started with the HBO miniseries From the Earth to the Moon which debuted in the spring of 1998. I didn’t have cable, but my folks did. My dad would record the episodes for me, and I’d drive over to their house to pick it up every week or so and return home and watch them. I watched the first two episodes on April 9, 1998, and that evening, wrote in my diary, “Watched From the Earth to the Moon and the first two episodes were great! Can’t wait for the next ones.”
Less than a month later, on May 1, 1998, I wrote the following in my diary:
I think that I decided that I want to be an astronaut today. I know that sounds odd, especially since I’m already 26 years old and “grown up1.” But I was browsing some of NASA’s web today and found their astronaut candidate program pages. I know that I don’t have a chance in hell to qualify. And I’m not kidding myself. It was only a daydream… I certainly may not make it. But think of what I can do for myself trying. I can put myself into outstanding mental and physical condition. I can try to learn new things with a real heroicgoal in mind. And as long as I remain realistic from the start (my chances are extraordinarily slim) I can’t lose. I’ll come out a far better person than I went in, no matter what.
The reason I was on the NASA website was almost certainly inspired by the HBO miniseries. At some point, watching the credits of the series, I discovered that it was based on a book by Andrew Chaikin. A few days after I decided I wanted to be an astronaut I,
went to a bookstore and I bought a copy of A Man on the Moon by Andrew Chaikin. This is the book that From the Earth to the Moon is based on. It’s nearly 700 pages and I got through about 30 pages…
The next day, I blew through 100 pages of the book. I was reading NASA manuals and guidelines for becoming an astronaut candidate all the while. I realized several things: (1) most astronauts had some kind of science or engineering background. I did not, but I would worry about that later; (2) most astronauts were athletes of some kind or another, or at least in great physical condition. That was something I could start to improve in myself; (3) many of the astronauts had logged thousands of hours in a variety of aircraft. I’d wanted to be a pilot since I was 8 or 9 years old. Maybe now was the time?
I started to run with my friend Jim as a way of getting into better shape. I was 26 years old at the time. Jim was 39. He ran circles around me, but we kept it up, running up the park above the beach in Santa Monica on Tuesdays and Thursdays after work.
A Man on the Moon started me on the road of a whole bunch of books of the U.S. space program. Immediately after finishing the book, I read two more: Deke! by Deke Slayton and Carrying the Fire by Michael Collins. That book is probably the single best astronaut memoir I’ve ever read.
Those books led to others: Failure Is Not an Option by Gene Kranz; Moon Lander: How We Developed the Apollo Lunar Module by Tom Kelly (one of the best practical project management books I’ve ever read, right there along with The Making of the Atomic Bomb); Flight: My Life In Mission Control by Chris Kraft; John Glenn: A Memoir2.
I never did become an astronaut, but like I wrote when I first decided I wanted to be an astronaut, I came out a better person because of my efforts. For one thing, it was during this time that some of my self-discipline improved. I was generally a late sleeper, but I became an early riser during this time, something I continue to this day. The experience taught me how to set better, more manageable goals, which was important in both the short term and the long term. I might not have made it as an astronaut, but I still wanted to be a pilot, and so I set that as an interim goal. My diary entry for July 14, 1999, starts: “I went on my first official flight as a student pilot today and logged 0.8 hours of dual time…”
Nine months later, on April 3, 2000, my diary for the day started as follows:
8:55am – Here goes nothing!
9:00pm – Here comes something! Jamie Rubin, Private Pilot, Single Engine Land! I passed my check ride today…
Becoming a pilot demonstrated my ability to multitask more than I was ever aware I was capable of. It taught me about situational awareness. And it taught me to keep cool in tough situations, analyze the situation, and avoid making things worse.
My fascination with the U.S. space program never diminished. Over the years, I accumulated more books and read as much as I could about the space program. I read Light This Candle: The Life and Times of Alan Shepard by Neal Thompson and Rocketman: Astronaut Pete Conrad’s Incredible Ride to the Moon and Beyond by Nancy Conrad. Conrad was the commander of Apollo 12, which was my personal favorite lunar mission and crew3. I read First Man: The Life of Neil Armstrong by James R. Hansen on a plane home from Hawaii.
Much later I started reading more of the detailed history of the space program: Go Flight: The Unsung Heroes of Mission Control, 1965-1992 by Rick Houston and Milt Heflin; Into that Silent Sea: Trailblazers of the Space Era, 1961-1965 by Francis French and Colin Burgess; In the Shadow of the Moon: A Challenging Journey to Tranquility, 1965-1969 by Francis French and Colin Burgess; Footprints in the Dust: The Epic Voyages of Apollo, 1969-1975 by Colin Burgess; Bold They Rise: The Space Shuttle Early Years, 1972-1986by David Hitt and Heather R. Smith; and Wheels Stop: The Tragedies and Triumphs of the Space Shuttle Program, 1986-2011 by Rick Houston.
Any time I discovered a new book on the space program, I devoured it. I read Rocket Men: The Daring Odyssey of Apollo 8 and the Astronauts Who Made Man’s First Journey to the Moon by Robert Kurson. I read about the Voyage Missions in The Interstellar Age: Inside the Forty-Year Voyage Mission by Jim Bell. I read Tom Wolfe’s The Right Stuff, decades after I saw the movie4. I read Douglas Brinkley’s American Moonshot: John F. Kennedy and the Great Space Race and One Giant Leap: The Impossible Mission That Flew Us to the Moon by Charles Fishman. I even read about life in mission control with Safely to the Earth: The Men and Women Who Brought the Astronauts Home by Jack Clemons. I finally got around to reading the classic history of Apollo, Chariots for Apollo: The NASA History of Manned Lunar Spaceflight to 1969 by Courtney G. Brooks, James M. Grimwood, and Loyd S. Swenson, Jr. I read Into the Black: The Extraordinary Untold Story of the First Flight of the Space Shuttle Columbia and the Astronauts Who Flew Her by Rowland White. And I read the fantastic biography of George M. Low, The Ultimate Engineer by Richard Jurek.
I haven’t stopped reading about the space program. Indeed, at present I am reading SUNBURST and LUMINARY: An Apollo Memoir by Don Eyles, the man who wrote the computer code for the Apollo guidance system. I’ve read so much about the space program that in some ways, it feels like I’ve been in orbit, watching the Earth roll silently by; it feels like I’ve stood in the Ocean of Storms, goofing around with Pete Conrad and Al Bean.
When I was a wee youngster, my mom told me that books can take you anywhere. She was right.
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︎I listened assiduously to his mission on the space shuttle, when, at the time, he became the oldest person to go into space. After I read his memoir, I wrote Senator Glenn a letter, and I got a very nice reply from him. ︎After Apollo 11, the pressure was off. Conrad, Alan Bean, and Dick Gordon were a fun crew and seemed to have fun throughout their mission, despite their Saturn V rocket being hit by lightning twice after lifting from the launchpad. ︎In the 1980s, The Right Stuff was my favorite movie for a long time. ︎
