Neither strong nor invincible

by Christine Kling

I’ve just been listening to this video of a young and beautiful Helen Reddy singing her anthem, “I am woman,” and right now I feel anything but strong or invincible. I’m scared and I’m so, so afraid that I am making the wrong decision.

You see that beautiful baby boy in the photo up there? Of the many hats I wear, I am a sailor and a writer, and I am also a single mom.

That boy is now 27 years old, and he is in a world of hurt from his inability to find a job in this economy, to his recent break-up, to his natural inclination to depression. If I were a typical mom, I’d do what thousands of parents are doing these days, and I would let him move back home into his old bedroom in the old homestead and I’d probably get him some counseling.

But I don’t have a nice little three bedroom place in the burbs, so I’m stuffing him into the quarter berth in the morning and taking him to the Bahamas. I’m hoping that sun and stars and wind and water will work the same magic for him that they work for me to heal my own wounds. He was ten years old the last time he sailed with his dad and me, and he never had to stand a night watch. Tomorrow night, he will have to step up, and hopefully, sitting alone in the cockpit in the middle of the Gulf Stream will give him some perspective about his place in the universe.

Maybe it will all backfire. Maybe we will argue and things will only get worse. But this is the only thing I know to do at this point.

I received an email from  a fan recently who made a comment  something to the effect that if Seychelle was anything like me, I must be something. Tonight, I wish I had her strength and the certainty she has of her convictions. Seychelle is really good at salvaging lives. I’m terrified that I won’t measure up.

Fair winds!

Christine

 

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