The Value of Being Remembered

Many years ago, soon after I got married, a leader in our church began working with me, taking a role in mentoring me in life and ministry. We only did it for a year, give or take a bit, because I got a job that moved my family to a new city, but I valued the help I received in my spiritual/ministerial journey.

I was in the new city for 8 years and then we moved to the Philippines as missionaries. Perhaps 2 or 3 years after becoming missionaries, we visited our old church and saw my former mentor. I walked up to him greeting him. He was friendly, but a little vague. It took me a moment to realize that he was trying to hide the fact that he had no idea who I was. I will admit that I was hurt by that a bit but tried not to show it. It had been at least 10 years since we had last seen each other, but I still felt that he should remember.

A few months later I learned that he was suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease. I was part of a broad swath of information and relationships that had become lost due to the ravages of this terminal illness.

I think almost everyone wants to be remembered. Teaching at a seminary, former students will come up to me, often shyly, to say “Hi” often with a self-depreciating “I doubt you remember me, but…”

Usually I do remember, and I try to ensure that they know it… and then try to add something else to show that I know more about them than face recognition and name. People want to be remembered.

I will admit that sometimes this doesn’t happen. Sometimes, I have completely forgotten them. If anything, this happens more often now because some of the classes I teach are online. It is much easier for students to have less impact when they are a tiny head on a screen.

The movie “The Book of Life” spoke of one’s dead ancestors sort of fading away when the living forget them. While we may not take it that literally, it is common to view that the dead are in some sense still alive when they are “alive in our hearts.” But that does require remembering them.

I need to work on my remembering others. It is, I think, an important aspect of the Golden Rule, and the Great Commandment. We remember as an act of love and because we want to be remembered.

 “The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” John 10:3