What Doesn’t Kill You…

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

It’s an old adage, one you’re probably familiar with, and, on the surface, it does have its merits. It’s used to encourage stamina, perseverance, and an overall positive attitude in the face of difficulties. You can do hard things, it seems to say, and it will make you stronger (i.e. better) in the process. Which, yes, is often the case.

But, all too often…does it? If something doesn’t kill us, does it really make us stronger?

I can think of plenty of people I know who have gone through tremendous hardships–death of a loved one, divorce, serious illness–and have come out of these experiences absolutely, 100% changed for the better. There’s an internal light in these people, a beautiful sense of wisdom and grace.

But I know too many more who have gone through awful circumstance and not come stronger. I have witnessed people fall into drugs, alcoholism, and other abusive/destructive behaviors. I’ve seen people withdraw, becoming shells of themselves, or else lash out, transforming into people who are either unsafe or impractical to be around. I have seen people fall away from faith, never to return.

So…why the disparity? Why does “what doesn’t kill us make us stronger” only apply to some?

I am no expert. But I suspect it has little to do with internal fortitude or character and way more to do with trust.

I think back to the story of Joseph found in the later chapters of Genesis. Admittedly, Joseph was not a perfect person (no one is) but even that was no excuse for the brutality he endured at the hands of his brothers: being thrown into a pit and ultimately sold into slavery in Egypt. On top of that, once in Egypt, he was thrown into prison through no fault of his own and even forgotten there for years by someone he had helped who promised to put in “a good one” to the Pharaoh for him.

I’m not quite sure those same circumstances wouldn’t have broken me. But they didn’t break Joseph. Nor did they kill him. They did, indeed, make him stronger. So strong, in fact, that when his brothers came to him years later, begging for food due to a famine in the land, he chose to bless them rather than curse them, to provide them home and substance rather than letting them starve. Of course, I’m just speculating here, but I can’t help but wonder how Joseph would have reacted to their request if it had come earlier. Say, a week, a month, a year after his arrival in Egypt? If he hadn’t gotten through those difficult circumstances, would he have become the type of man who could have forgiven his brothers?

In Genesis 50:20, we hear Joseph say: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”

He’s speaking to his brothers here, but he could just have easily have been speaking to the enemy. The things that had happened to Joseph were a result of human actions, but they were ones spurred on by the enemy seeking, as he always does, to “kill, steal, and destroy” (John 10:10). And he would have been successful had Joseph not allowed God to take the problems the enemy had created and use them for good.

When we trust in God–really trust in Him–we can view any and all hardship in His light. We can see it as an exercise in trust as well as learning to be intentional in seeking out the good–no matter how small–within in. Because, although the bad things of this world do not come from God, they are allowed by Him. On purpose and for a purpose. And I believe it’s only by holding steadfastly to this truth that we can come through our hardships not only alive, but also stronger.

That’s how we defeat the enemy, friends. He uses the bad things of this world to pull us from God. To make us question Him, to lead us to other things he promises will fulfill us or numb the pain. But it’s those very same empty promises that break us, that lead us through our difficult circumstances into someplace even worse than we were before.

But, if we let Him, God can use the bad things of this world for good. He can take those attacks from the enemy and make us stronger–physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. He can help us see Him and others in a whole new light. He can draw us closer, rather than further, away.

So perhaps the old saying should be: “What doesn’t kill you can make you stronger–if you give it to God.”