Kill Them with Kindness
“In the end, we’re all animals. We’ve got to get dirty sometime.” --Eric Van Lustbader, THE KAISHO Sadly, my paternal first cousin, Cecelia Garcia-Markus died on February 28, 1999. Mom was very close to her. She would call all of the time. Her mother, Esther, and my dad were half-brother/half-sister as they both had the same mother (Mathilde) but different fathers. Cecelia died of cirrhosis of the liver. I remember when she gifted me a bottle of whisky a couple of Christmas' ago. I was flabbergasted. I don't drink heavy spirits. She just drank too much. I had to send a note to mom as I had been searching for photos of Cecelia. I know I have many. She had the gift of gab, loving to talk about so many relatives in the family. I now wish I spoke to her more--but I did have my fill of conversations with her. I do feel lucky about this.
March 9, 1999
Dear Mom, I was sorting through some old photos trying to find pictures of Cecelia—still looking. However, I found these two that I had to send you because they made me chuckle. You'll get a kick out of it. I’m sure. You must show it to Betty and share the others with Ashley and Lauren, too.
It’s Tuesday morning. Alan and I are going to breakfast to discuss our new Internet Stock Watch List.
My lease for my car expires June 1999. Alan and I are thinking of driving up there to see you.
Hugs and Kisses, Love Your Son,
Michael J Armijo
Sandra Donald, the prisoner cousin wrote to me:
March 9, 1999, Pearl, Mississippi
Dear Cousin,
How are you today?
How is the new business?
Michael, I have finally come to terms with my sentence. My earliest parole eligibility date is 4-15-2000. I just have to continue to be strong and faithful to my higher power, my Lord Jesus Christ. He has brought me this far and so I must lean on Him.
Mr. Stanfield, an attorney, did visit me on October 3, 1998, but as you see I am still here. He’s not trying hard enough to help please me, so I don’t need him...
Photo: Cecelia Garcia-Markus pictured here with son, Patrick, and husband, Jim
I was talking to Elsie, my sister-in-law, yesterday and she informed me that Cecelia had died. I was shocked to hear the bad news but did not get the details as to what happened. Please let me know as soon as possible. I visited her in the Winter of 1970. We were fairly close. Michael, thank you for your sweet and exciting mail. I look forward to hearing from you.
My love and prayers are with you.
Sandra Donald
“Our unknown future is secure in the hands of our all-knowing, God.”
And I like when Marie-Antoinette writes me because my mom likes it when I call her and read aloud what she’s written. For instance:
March 10, 1990
Dearest Michael,
Received your beautiful card from NYC and was so happy to hear from you. Mom would have celebrated her 93rd Birthday today but I’m sure she’s celebrating up above and her new glorious life with Our Lord! I’m doing better. Thanks so much for thinking of me. I’m sorry when I went down to finalize mom’s funeral I wasn’t in a very good state of mind, so i didn’t even think of going to get my diaries. I’ve made a promise to walk to Santuario on Good Friday, so I will then and hopefully find them intact. If I recall correctly it will make for interesting reading.
My mom’s sister (my aunt) and my brother, Gilbert, were still very cold and callous but I pray for them. I thought when mom arrived in Cerrillos after being with me a few years it may have softened their hearts but to no avail.
Angelus Funeral Chapel took care of all the arrangements and even transported mom for us. They were just great and she was handled with such dignity.
I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get carried away but I felt such a closeness to you those few minutes we were at the reunion that I feel I can tell you anything...I hope you don’t mind. The rest of the family is doing good. Ruben’s surgery isn’t until April 9th at around 9:30AM at St. Mary-Corwin Hospital here in Pueblo and three specialists will be assisting. The doctors have reassured us that it's a pretty clear-cut incision. The only problem is that the curated artery in the left side of the neck seems to be surrounding the tumor and kind of attaching itself to it so it might be a little tricky. Say prayer for him, will you every chance you get?
As for my daughter, Bernadette, she teaches English as second language at the Federal Prison in Florence, CO. She deals on a 1 to 1 basis with the inmates. She loves the work and she’s capable of taking care of herself. As a little girl I had her and her brother Joe take karate and other classes in self-defense. Your cousin is about 6 feet tall and weighs about 170-178 pounds, but don’t ever say I told you so! Ha-ha! She’s a great gal! When she was born dad went to see me at the hospital and his exact words were: “She’s you born all over again.” And I tell you, his words were never truer as they were that day! She’s really a chip off the old block! When she was a teenager and tried to pull the wool over my eyes, I’d tell her not to try any tricks because I was the one that had written that book! Chuckle-chuckle.
Photo: In Memory of Cecelia Garcia-Markus, pictured with my mother Virginia M Armijo
On another note, I’m so sorry about your father’s niece, Cecelia. It’s always so hard when it’s a relative especially when there’s a sad ending in this life when it came about by their own doing. I have a few relatives that have turned to alcohol as a way of coping but I think it takes a braver person to face life without any excuses or easy way outs. I sound really holier than thou, huh? My sister, Josie, God Bless her soul would say when I would call to speak to mom, “It’s Mother Theresa!” Dad had quite a good impact on my life and I’ve always tried to live it that way. He did by always loving everything and everybody. If anyone did you harm, he’d say, “Kill them with kindness.” Mom, the little angel always believed you should defend yourself and not be stepped on. She was a very strong lady! I wish I could have been mor like her than I wouldn’t have felt so much pain in my life. Oh well, Cest la vie. Anyway, now that I’ve come to the end of my short novel, I hope you weren’t too bored! I’d better close for now. Love to all the family.
Gold Bless You Favorite Cousin.
I Love You!
Your Cousin, Marie Antoinette
And the week wouldn’t have been complete without the army man, Chris Armijo. His mission for me to find out where "military" play in San Antonio was hysterical. I wonder if the world wide web can help me with that one.
09 MAR 99, Monday
M & A,
Hi guys.
Hope you enjoyed/are enjoying Aruba. As of today, I have met all requirements for Basic Combat Training as set forth by the United States Armed Forces. I am recognized as a soldier now. Hmmm...
Graduation is on Thursday. Words can’t even begin to express how I feel. No more:
Morning wake ups between 0345-0400
MRE’s (Meat Ready to Eat)
Cold mornings on the field
53 guys in one long bay
Confinement to “Starship”
I report to Ft. Sam Houston on Thursday. I should leave directly after graduation. In about two weeks I should start getting weekend passes. Sight out about 1700 on Friday and sign back in Sunday before 2300. Sex and Drink! Celibacy is not for everyone.
Okay, so not much left to report.
Michael, can you do a search for me an find out the “HOT SPOTS” near Ft. Sam Houston? Where do “military” play? Don’t print and send. Write in letter format. They read, glance over all PC printouts. I’ll write next week with my address.
Love, Chris
P.S. How is the business?
...And his email a few days later:
Hello -
Well, I graduated Basic Training and am now in San Antonio. Life has taken a radical turn! We are basically on our own this weekend. I rarely see a drill Sargeant. It is nice! My new address:
PV2 ARMIJO
B Co. 187th Med Bn
Ft. Sam Houston, Texas 78234
I will also be able to check this email as I have free time. Which during the week is from 5PM to 9PM in the evenings!
How are things there?
“This is your first time, isn’t it? He said in my ear. “I can tell. I’ll show you what it’s like. You’ll like it. Just let yourself go, baby.”
So, I did, and he did, and I did. --James Lord, MY QUEER WAR
