Even if you’re curious, just don’t ask

I’ve made a handy video in case you see someone with a skin condition or a disability – because I was rudely interrupted by a stranger after a great Pilates class this morning. You’re welcome.

Video: Carly, a woman with red skin and short dark curly hair, wearing a Hello Kitty dress, speaking to camera against a white wall. The video has captions – white text on purple, above Carly. Transcript: “If we’ve never met or spoken before, “so, is yours eczema?” is not an appropriate greeting ever.

Even if you’re curious.
Even if your son has eczema.
Even if you’re worried about someone’s health.
Even if we’ve just done the same Pilates class.
Just don’t.

Just say hello.

Ask or say things like:
“How are you?
Did you enjoy the class?
I like our outfit.
What’s on for the rest of the day?
My name is Carly, what’s yours?
See you next class.”

There’s no need to ask about someone’s appearance or body or medical condition or mobility device, especially if that’s the way you’re starting a conversation.
It makes for a very awkward conversation.

It may be the first time you’ve seen someone like me, but it’s definitely not the first time I’ve been asked about my appearance.

I’m not offended: I’m not being defensive. I’m just annoyed and surprised that in 2025, people still feel entitled to a stranger’s medical diagnosis.”

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