Un Bon Chien

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

I haven’t written too much about Atlas lately, but he’s really turned into a wonderful dog. He’s very affectionate and intelligent in a variety of ways. But most surprisingly, the other day we discovered that he speaks French. Yes, the language of amour, and he’s quite proficient at it. I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready, and I was speaking French to Atlas, as one does, because I like to practice every once in a while to make sure I haven’t forgotten the basics. I was keeping a running commentary of what I was doing— “Ah, mon bon chien, tu es très intelligent, n’est-ce pas?” and “Je vais faire des pommes de terre à la place du riz” and whatnot. And then I needed some salt, so I said to Atlas, who wasn’t really paying attention at this point, having given up on getting any cookies, “ Où est le sel, mon ami? Ah, c’est ici!”

And when he heard the word ‘ici’, he immediately ran to the door and started barking like a maniac, because ‘ici’ means ‘here’, and whenever he hears the word ‘here’, he assumes that someone has come to our house. I had to shush him and open the door to prove that no one was ‘ici’. But I was super-curious:

Me: Since when have you been able to understand French?
Atlas: Oh, you know. You pick it up here and there.
Me: And can you speak French as well?
Atlas: Bien s ûr. Je ne suis pas un idiot. Contrairement au pr ésident des États-Unis.
Me: That’s pretty good. Your accent is as solid as your understanding of current politics. Hang on—have you been spending time with that French bulldog on the corner? Is that who’s been teaching you French?
Atlas: Among other things, Maman. Ooh la la!
Me: Take it easy there, Loverboy. Stop drooling. Thank goodness you’re neutered.
Atlas: What does ‘neutered’ mean, Ma?
Me: Oh nothing.

Sigh. They grow up so fast.

In other news, my job shadow training at the radio station went really well. It doesn’t look anywhere near as difficult as I thought, and on top of everything, one of the authors didn’t show up so to fill in the time, the other host offered to let me read from my new short story collection, Dark Nocturnes, which is currently on Kindle pre-sale with the paperback being released on April 5th. I’m so excited about it, and the cover is incredible, thanks to Jane Cornwell, my publisher and artist extraordinaire. If you’re interested, you can find it by clicking here: Amazon

It’s already gotten some fantastic advance reviews but if you’d like a review copy when it’s released, let me know!