A To Z Book Review: The Dragon Squisher By Scott McCormick
My letter “D” pick for this year’s A to Z Reading Challenge was THE DRAGON SQUISHER, a delightful Middle Grade fantasy by Scott McCormick.
Where do I begin? It hooked me from the opening sentence: “Dragons smell like farts.”
Then it proceeded to reel me in further with: “Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king’s panties.” Those were magical panties to be specific, and they (and the king) were controlled by a powerful wizard wearing the cuff links of doom who eventually gets his arms chopped off and banished to a dark realm, setting up an epic Lord of the Rings-ish spoof about the war with the Gorks, who want to bring back the evil Lord S’moron. And there begins the tale of fourteen-year-old Nigel, an unrepentant troublemaker who gets banished to military school after a prank gone wrong along with his village nemesis, an annoyingly perfect guy named Lance.
From there, Nigel continues to get in trouble – usually dragging Lance with him – to the point that they do nothing but dig latrines when not stuffed in a dark dungeon cell. The two form a bond and become true friends. Eventually, the military academy gets tired of their shenanigans and banishes the boys from the kingdom with orders to find a powerful magic relic to redeem themselves. There are three problems with this. (A) no one knows what the relic is, (B) or where it is, and (C) the boys are penniless and can only support themselves by shoveling various forms of animal dung. The adventure gets rolling not long after that, and I won’t drop any spoilers on the rest of this genius, hilarious, and heartfelt plot.
This book had me laughing to the point of tears pretty much all the way through and was an absolute joy to read. Any middle-schooler (or any person older than that, for that matter) will LOVE this colorful, lighthearted fantasy, and I’m giving bonus points for the warm supportive LGBTQA inclusion. This is book one of a series, and I cannot wait to start book two. If you have an Audible membership, the audiobook is free right now and features a masterful performance by voice actor Adam Fuller that elevates the story even further. This is a solid, blazing five star read.
