Date Runner Analysis — Musk’s Dating History
Today we will look at the challenges a billionaire might face while dating. In order to do this, we will take as our test case the dating history of Elon Musk. We will bracket off Elon’s dating and relationships prior to reaching top status in the system. This means we will be looking at his preferences and choices after his first divorce which include Talulah Riley, Amber Heard and Claire Boucher. Though these women are undoubtedly beautiful, they have quite different things to offer based on the Date Runner parameters.
https://medium.com/media/cd383a01e85fda4fda499246496f4fb6/hrefMost people don’t think about why they have particular affections for specific people, but if you break it down you can often see what is really going on. Let’s talk about Elon first. He’s not an ugly guy. He is tall. He is very very rich. He has a pretty solid combined score (wink wink nudge nudge). Elon’s approach style is definitely what we refer to as a minus, which means he is more comfortable making verbal approaches with women, and sometimes having minimal physical initiating behaviors when excited about someone. He has spoken openly about not being quite
neurotypical, so it is likely for him to be naturally quite passive or need a longer time frame to get cozy with someone. Elon doesn’t have a lot of free time generally, so may speed things along at a pace that is not entirely native to him.
What can we say about Talulah? She is not quite as open about their two marriages and divorces, as others have been about their affairs or relationships. Given her candor, we can safely assume that she has a relatively stable and supportive personality. She is also likely a minus in approach style. The speed at which they got together is surprising, it only took two weeks for them to wed, and Talulah said in interviews he proposed almost immediately. However, Elon’s approach was completely verbal and he simply told her he would like to marry her in a straightforward manner and she accepted. While it might not sound passionate to some, for minuses this kind of escalation would be a huge deal. Generally, the dating phase is smoother when approach styles are the same and can in some cases accelerate commitment. Talulah has almost a perfect appearance score and with makeup is exceptionally beautiful. Her combined score, even with the age gap penalty considered, places them firmly in the Good Match zone, meaning they will see each other as good matches. We won’t speculate about the relationship itself as Date Runner is only showing the filters, however this relationship was obviously good enough for them to both attempt it a second time.
The world knows a lot more about Amber Heard. Elon Musk self-reported how smitten he was with her. Amber is extremely beautiful and has a perfect score in the system with or without makeup. However, her personality in the Date Runner undercuts the combined score. In dating men care most about whether the woman is supportive and not emotionally unstable. Amber has neither the supportive nature nor the emotional stability men seek. But she’s very hot. In the system Amber’s combined score is surprisingly lower than Talulah’s, though they are both good matches. While personality is not the primary parameter for Date Runner for men, it does make a difference for adjustments especially over time. It can happen, like in Elon’s case, that the physical appearance blinds men to unhealthy behaviors and they are more willing to justify them. Elon was willing to sacrifice time, efforts, and resources for Amber that he wouldn’t be willing to give to his other dating options. Their communication we would expect to be turbulent given their different approach styles. Amber is a plus one in the system, meaning she is comfortable with a quicker time frame to resolve questions concerning commitment. It appears she wanted to keep her options
more open during their dating than Elon and she eventually was the one to call things off.
After breakups or bad treatment in a relationship, it is quite common for both men and women to look for a relationship where they can feel more in control, and Musk is not an exception. Though Claire Boucher, also known as Grimes, doesn’t have a bad score in the Date Runner system, she has the lowest of the women we’ve discussed. When we calculate and compare Musk and Grime’s parameters, even with the age gap penalty adjustment, Grimes will be almost a compromise in our system. She is cute and slim, but not exceptionally beautiful, and Elon is exceptionally rich. He has access to the most beautiful women on earth. Grimes has an approach style of a plus two, meaning she is comfortable making quick decisions about both physical and psychological intimacy. She will speed things along, particularly if it benefits her. From Grimes perspective Elon would be a great catch so the balance of power is naturally in Elon’s favor. Grimes understands she doesn’t have leverage in the situation and compensates with her personality, meaning she is extraordinarily supportive and accommodating. In interviews she was fond of reiterating her total dedication to “the mission” which, of course, mean’s Elon’s mission. She also emphasized the fact that they were and are best friends foremost and not quite like a traditional couple. Clearly, Elon was allowed a greater degree of freedom than in most committed relationships, which we would expect given the asymmetry in their scores. From Elon’s perspective, it may not have been intentional or he may not have even been aware of some of these dynamics, but he found the comfort he was seeking at least initially.
Over longer periods of time we see that a relationship with a compromise might be fulfilling in some ways, but have the potential to lead to feelings of dissatisfaction. A good match is usually most ideal for dating. In order for Elon to find matches in the appropriate range we expect him to still aim to date beautiful younger women, but we would not expect to see him go to the extreme some other celebrities might. As a high profile businessman with his goals, he does somewhat regard public opinion. His reputation matters. Given this, it will probably be women clustered around 30, plus or minus five years, rather than younger. If we take Elon’s and his exes as a case example, we can see that personality does have a salient impact on dating. A bad personality can certainly destroy the potential of a relationship forming, however a good personality isn’t the foundation of
a relationship coming together or staying together as many other parameters dominate.
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