Date Runner Analysis — Will and Jada Smith
Today we will discuss a very discussed couple, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, and particularly how their relationship affected Will. How did he change from a 90s Show Business Prince to a Self-recriminating Simp? We will analyze Will and Jada’s approach style from their early days together and the changing dynamics of their relationship through the lens of the MindHub profiling system.
https://medium.com/media/6a5d2824be8e1629eeb0489283a8698a/hrefBoth systems add to an overall understanding of the current situation and the disappointments of the couple. Jada and Will began their relationship back in the 90s and married after a few years of dating. Since records are scarce here, we can look to their respective personalities through interviews to understand their likely approach styles. In most appearances from this time period Will exhibits Lust, Ego and Ambition. We see him bask in the glory of audience attention, asking people to clap longer and louder as he appears in several clips which shows primary
Ego or the desire for attention. He was constantly working on both his acting craft and his music career with prodigious output, showing primary Ambition. Lust, which in the system shows the need to blow off steam, is in evidence as Will would indulge in some bad boys behavior with his friends. This combination of drives is social to the max or totally extraverted. In the Date Runner system, these drives would translate to a dating approach style of Plus two, meaning he would be comfortable making both verbal and physical contact with potential love interests. Most pluses are open and comfortable dating other pluses.
Jada is also a Plus two. She shows an Ego drive, also seeking attention
and is very vocal about her self-love. Women with Ego in the system tend toward speaking about how important self-love is, and Jada’s focus on self-love has been consistent throughout the years. She also has an extreme drive called Revenge. Revenge is a willingness to hit back at people who threaten what they perceive as important to them and the extreme called “autocracy” shows a domineering need to control. In the 90s Jada was directing music videos and even when interviewed about her projects would end up directing the interview. She would frequently make sure credit was given to her for ideas that were executed by people like Doctor Dre or Tupac and said she knew they would be big like she knew their potential from the outset. She exhibits a Greed primary drive, which
is often looking for opportunities to expand their influence as well as their assets. So what happens when two Plus two personalities date? Plus two men and Plus two women will be relatively comfortable dating, but they do not act the same. For men, the Plus women are simple, easy, and fast, so they are often preferred even if the woman is a compromise in terms of score when compared to minus women options. Let’s compare their stats.
Will’s score was quite high. He is tall, rich, and super famous. Such men are often a moving target or on the wishlist of Plus two women. Jada was better-than-average looking, slim, but would have a slight deduction in score for being extremely short. Given the parameters, Jada would have seen Will as a “great catch”. The personality drives of plus two women can
often make for excellent acting skills, particularly in the presence of such a catch. They may be chameleons who can mimic any traits that might be particularly desirable for men including supportiveness and accommodation. Sooner or later, the real personality will emerge.
What happens during a long term relationship can be quite different to what happens during the dating window and can be difficult to
assess, but some aspects of Will and Jada’s relationship have been put up for display. Men generally can compartmentalize emotions
and also areas of life. When they have built something with their
woman and that’s flourished over time, what is confronting to their pride and manhood is not only about the intimate relationship, but everything that it’s made. This often makes it extremely difficult for men to let go. They sense the relationship as foundational, particularly when going through the loss of the significant relationship.
For women, disappointments tend to accumulate. What feels threatening to a woman isn’t a loss of their foundations, it’s the sense that with every minor complaint, things could have been otherwise or better in some way. This is especially the case with plus women, who can’t help but see opportunity everywhere or ruminate on alternatives. For the most part, women do not see their counterparts as foundational to their well being, but partnership is more about felt affection. The difference in perspective between the sexes can create a large rift. Will fell into a bit of a trap precisely due to his lighter personality, having no inner drives and needing to convince a quite intense person to continue in the relationship. Will’s default way of loving is likely to create positive emotions through shared experience, believing money or fun could help him to handle the issues. He thought if they had good experiences together that she would love him, but the more he gives the less Jada would respect him. Jada, who we’ve mentioned has Autocracy as a default mode in her personality, would simply not be receptive to such behavior. In this way, Will was doomed from the start. Jada wants an intense man, one with inner drives, potentially one with even stronger inner drives than herself.
People often speculate that Tupac was the idealization of her preferred type. The trap we’ve described can be self-deceptive as sometimes the beloved will react happily or say the things or act the way the lover hopes they will. Hope survives by intermittent reinforcement. When people are prioritizing their partners above all else, we call this an Intimate aim. When Intimate becomes first in priority, above all other life aims, especially with men, it can be difficult for onlookers to respect. Women respond especially negatively to men who don’t have other priorities. Over time, it is evident that sadness builds in Will, and his personality profile changes from Lust to Regret and from Ambition to Boredom. This would make him much less social and more proactive. On his social media, we can see the shift toward more extreme physical activities and impulsiveness. He takes a lot more risks than he took before.
The Oscars slap heard round the world, drew attention to what was going on with Will under the surface. Now that we know Will and Jada were separated at the time, we can see the violence as an outburst of emotion spilling over, combined with ego and the need for others to see what he wanted to show was his. This seeming protectionism was denial on multiple levels, the deepest of which was that Will was crying out about his wife, who hadn’t acted in this role for years. He was emotionally angry due to failed intimate aim and regret. Often, people do not expect regret to manifest as rage, but with certain triggers it can and does. Men who choose to marry plus two women can’t relax or feel too comfortable. They should stay on their toes. Jada would have always been difficult to domesticate. She also has said she never wanted or intended to marry Will. Plus twos can be brutally honest and should be believed. The trajectory of the relationship from here shouldn’t be so surprising.
To purchase a copy of the book Date Runner, search for ‘Date Runner Calculate’ in your preferred search engine or check the Amazon link.
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