Taitz Teaches Thoughtful Eating (part 2)

Jennifer L. Taitz. 2012. End Emotional Eating. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications. (Goto part 1)

Review by Stephen W. Hiemstra

In part 1 of this review, I gave an overview of Jennifer Taitz’s book, End Emotional Eating. Here I would like to focus on her premise, that “self-control is a skill that we can learn.” (1) What challenge and what skills exactly are we talking about?

The challenge that we face in balancing our appetites is culture. Taitz observes that:

“We seem to live in a ‘birthday or wake, let’s each cake’ culture.” (7)

In other words, mindless eating is the norm and, if you disagree, turn on any television channel and watch the commercials for a few minutes—most are about food.

With respect to skills, let me focus on three skills that stood out for me as I was reading Taitz’s work: 1. Emotional Intelligence, 2. Surfing Urges, and 3. Self-Compassion.

Emotional Intelligence.

Taitz defines emotions this way:

“Basically, an emotion arises when we experience something (a situation, a memory, a thought); we evaluate it (appraisal); then we notice changes in our bodies and feel a pull towards taking an action in response to that feeling.” (90)

Her objective in looking at emotions is to:

“to explore ways to both reduce the vulnerabilities that make us more susceptible to intense feelings and manage emotions by changing situations, practicing mindful attention, noticing appraisals, and altering the response components of emotions.” (91)

Here we see the intelligence part of the discussion. Mindless eating involves no such evaluation, but rather involves a mental shortcut from emotions to response, without reflection. For example, I might experience anxiety, then immediate run to the fridge instead of exploring why I feel anxious and deal directly with the anxiety-producing event. Cutting out the reflection, I might then experience a second tier of emotions (guilt and shame) as I realize that I have just blown my diet in hitting the fridge.

Notice that by dealing with the initial emotion, anxiety, directly I can actually feel less bad because I have not triggered this second tier of negative emotions. Taitz’s advice of mindfully reflecting on my anxiety, I get to choose my response and take ownership of it—a confidence building activity. My secondary tier of emotions could in this way be positive and actually help me to deal with the initial anxiety. And, of course, becoming more self-aware may also help in my relationship with other people, the usual application offered for emotional intelligence.

Surfing Urges.

Taitz asks: “What would happen if an urge got stronger and stronger and you just noticed it, without reacting?” (118) If urges get stronger when we indulge them, then responding to our urges just creates a vicious cycle of urges and indulgences, followed, of course, by greater and greater guilt. As with any addiction, the solution is not to engage in the behavior.

Taitz observes a physical manifestation of addictive behavior:

“The brain is active and plastic. We strengthen neural connections underlying our behaviors when we engage in repeated actions [like practice your piano lessons]. In contrast, refocusing and changing behaviors alters the brain. Rebuilding neural pathways is a process. The good news is that over time, the link between the behavior and engaging in the urge will be weakened.” (120)

Because of this physical manifestation of the urge in the brain, therapy needs also to be physically manifested to build alternative neurology pathways. This is why developing new habits are an important part of dealing with addictive behavior.

 “Urge surfing” refers to the observation of the rise and fall of cravings (like ocean waves) and urges to help in regulating behavior (122). Taitz recommends a four-step process:

Slow down your mind and body.Let go of the urge by nonjudgmentally observing it.Focus on something else.Choose your response (125).

Taitz observes that exercising self-control differs from will-power (124) and may actually build a reservoir of self-confidence.

Self-Compassion.

Taitz reports that in raising children we have four strategies of regulating expectations and emotional support:

Low on expectations; high on support.Low on expectations; low on support.High on expectations; high on support.High on expectations; low on support.

Citing Baumrind (1971), Taitz (177-178) reports that the most successful strategy for parenting is option 3 (high expectations and high support), which is also the optimal strategy for self-care. So what is self-compassion? Citing Neff (2003, 224) Taitz (179) self-compassion as:

“being open to and moved by one’s own suffering, experiencing feelings of caring and kindness towards oneself, taking an understanding, nonjudgmental attitude towards one’s inadequacies and failures, and recognizing that one’s experience is part of the common human experience.”

In other words, if using the stick to motivate others does not work, why do you motivate yourself with a stick? Do practice the same compassion with yourself as your practice with your loved ones? (Hopefully, you are compassionate with others!) Taitz goes into much more depth with this and other issues.

Jennifer L. Taitz’s book, End Emotional Eating, is accessible and interesting to a wide lay and professional audience both because of the topic and because the approaches suggested may be helpful in copy with a range of obsessive and addictive behaviors. Sprinkled throughout the chapters are helpful exercises to promote application of the concepts under discussion. I read the book to help me succeed in ramping down my weight and ramping up my exercise routine in the New Year and was pleased with what I learned—I suspect  that you will be too.

References

Baumrind, D. 1971.  “Current Patterns of Parental Authority.” Development Psychology. Vol: 4:1-103.

Goleman, Daniel. 2006.  Emotional Intelligence:  Why It Can Matter More than IQ.  New York:  Bantam Books. (Review: Goleman:  Emotional Intelligence Brings Light; http://wp.me/p3Xeut-mf)

Koerner, Kelly. 2012. Doing Dialectical Behavior Therapy: A Practical Guide. New York: Guilford Press. (Review: Koerner Explains DBT and Supporting Skills; http://wp.me/p3Xeut-1uP).

May, Gerald G. 1988.  Addiction & Grace:  Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions. New York:  HarperOne. (Review: May:  Addictions Need not Enslave; http://wp.me/p3Xeut-iv).

Neff, K. 2003. “The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion.” Self and Identity. Vol. 2:223-50.

Footnotes

For example, see: (Goleman 2006).

May (1988, 177) advises—the only cure for an addiction is to stop the cycle.

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