The Swipe Volume 3 Chapter 4
The first great retail opportunity since X-Day has landed, and on a Friday too, so let’s make a weekend of it. I treated us to an excellent meal deal from M&S which included coquille St. Jacques, prawn and salmon on croute with smashed basil potatoes and chocolate and caramel pots alongside a rather nice bottle of Italian rosé for £25 quid. Plenty of folks are hopefully out helping restaurants and card shops stay afloat over the next couple of days. C and I, as you know are quiet and retiring types. Not for us the crush and hustle of V-Day dining. Like the saintly George said, it’s cold out there but it’s warm in bed. Hope you get a chance to put a little love in your life, even if it’s just honouring yourself with a little treat.
Wherever you are, whenever you are, however you are, welcome to The Swipe.
Rob is reading…
Robert Aickman’s The Unsettled Dust. Strange subtle tales of dread from a lesser-known master of horror. Aickman’s stories have the atmosphere of a dream, one which gradually darkens until an understated conclusion arrives which slips into you like a knife in the ribs. Possibly not the best bedtime reading, mind.
Rob is watching…
Alien: Romulus. A major, crushing disappointment for this Alien fan. Fede Alverez’s take on the franchise is clearly informed by his love of it, but that love exhibits by shoehorning in as many references to the other films as possible, then hose-piping gore over the top. The characters are thin archetypes from a teen slasher, the script is full of clangers. The whole enterprise is a massive missed opportunity, although it made a ton of cash so who knows, maybe the next one will be an improvement. It looks gorgeous, so perhaps worth a look if you enjoy pretty spaceship stuff.
Rob is listening…
to Robert Fripp and David Sylvian’s The First Day. C moved a rampant trailing pothos from the record shelving, which means I can actually get to the S-Z section of the collection. I have gleefully reacquainted us with old friends, including this late 90s collab from two art-rock greats. A whirling, grinding dust storm of delicious noise and soft drones. Sheer shining atmosphere, the perfect soundtrack for an afternoon of pottering about.
Rob is eating…
Not this. Dear gods, not this.
Related. Don’t try this at home.
Rob’s Low-Key Obsession Of The Week…
Oh, synth pop. Easy peasy, you just poke a few buttons on a keyboard and make a song. Nothing to it, not real music. Yeah? Watch this and be prepared to reset your biases. This is hardcore nerdery and I immersed myself.
My personal philosophy is a mishmash of Buddhist traits, Tao and a whiff of Stoicism. I believe people deserve a little respect and empathy, and that kindness is often rewarded. Nothing wrong with a bit of stubbornness and knowing the power of no, either. Build some of these and the hints below into your interactional toolkit and see what it does for you.
Ubuweb has returned. An astonishingly broad resource of art, music, film and writing from the lesser-trodden corners of the internet. One of those places where you wander until joyfully lost. You will find something you like here, if you amble in a mindfu manner.
Two contributors to the Am I The Asshole? subReddit explain their reasons for submitting, and what came next. AITA is a fascinating glimpse into the strange pathways of human behaviour and how one person’s reasonable position is another’s big red flag.
A Ninth Art essential. Denny O’Neill’s BatBible is the definitive text on how to write the Darknight Detective. The major players and supporting characters are all here. It’s forensic and precise, yet allows for all sorts of creative swerves and reinterpretations. Once you know the recipe, you can make the dish your own.
Some extremely practical screenwriting advice from Tony Tost with a clear-eyed understanding of that core tenet of Hollywood—unless you’re connected, getting your work is seen is incredibly tough. I worry about the potential of becoming whatever the writer’s equivalent of typecast is, but at least Tony’s tips will help you get past the receptionist.
Am I likely to host a cocktail party anytime soon? No, probably not. I refer you to the Valentine’s Day intro above. However, Richard Godwin is wise in all things booze. I am sure much of The Readership is much better at this peopling stuff than your humble author and will find this useful. Some good recipes here as well.
Finally, a moment from one of the most ubiquitous sitcoms around that hits harder than expected. The reason for its appearance took me by surprise. There’s more to comedy than a laugh a minute.
I will now take questions from the floor.
As is traditional at this time of year, a playlist for the weekend. If nothing else, crank up the Kelly Clarkson.
See you in seven, fellow travellers.
