How to Love Your Art, Writing, and Self

My friend Radina—a woman far smarter and who finds far more joy in obscure research than I—informed me Valentines is a much older holiday than I realized, complete with Romans sharing love cards and pairing off of women with men by lottery. But you know what’s better than an auction romance? Falling in love with the one person you can never, ever, get away from: you.

So here’s what I’ve done to make the most of my relationship with myself, my art, and my words, and hopefully something here will help you learn to do the same.

#1: Tell yourself a story. There’s incredible power in story, and especially in the ones we tell ourselves over and over. My story is that I’m a woman who crafted the life everyone wants: one where I can’t work traditionally full time (legalities of living in another country!), one where I spend my time learning to write books and create beautiful art, and finally one where I can pursue one of my first ever bucket list items: learn a second language.

But, much like making three wishes and not thinking through the loopholes, I probably should have specified that I’d still like to earn money, that creating is most fulfilling when other people can find and enjoy it (I fail social media), and that French was never ever a language I was interested in learning in the slightest. Stories, however, are only good if they have odds to overcome and the main character struggles to get there, so when you tell yourself your story, don’t forget to romanticize the challenges so that you, this wonderful being, rise to the occasion and become the champion.

Seriously, though, write yourself a little version of your story on a sticky note and put your happy ever after in bold so you know exactly where you’re heading and, more importantly, so you can remind yourself that you’ll get there if you just keep moving forward.

#2 Learning to love your creative endeavors is an exquisite type of torture. Many artists and writers are perfectionists, which stands in our way of true greatness. I’ve been watching some inspirational YouTube artists such as TheStarFishFace (a webcomic creator) who speaks of the only thing that matters in any artistic endeavor: consistency.

I’ve decided to let go of my pride on any single project and instead love showing up. Some days it’s a struggle to make it to the keyboard, some days I only do one sketch, but most days I find the rhythm and love the process. My skills and worth are not decided by what I just did, but by what I’ll do next. So whether I love the thing I made, or hate it, both are okay because it’s the next thing that will show what I learned and how far I’ve come.

#3 This is more practical and annoying, but: Eat. Sleep. Rest. There is no greater gift you can give to yourself and your specific craft this Valentines than the gift of care. Eat a meal that is nourishing for you—I know you might be thinking of some greasy pizza bomb, or maybe a chocolate bomb as a treat and a gift, but is it? Take a beat (or a beet, har har) and check in with what your body really needs to feel best (and I recommend checking out How Not to Die by Dr. Michael Gregor, and don’t worry, it’s not doom and gloom. I’m planning a eating for nutrition post, so more on this later).

We all know we need sleep, and there are a ton of tips on how to make your bedroom into a bat cave ready for ultimate insomnia fighting heroism. If you want, I can make a post about sleep recommendations if you’d like, but for now, just catch some deep Z’s.

Rest is the hardest of the three for me (yes, even harder than making myself eat raw broccoli). I was deeply mired in hustle culture, working as an indie author who had to wear all the hats and do it all to attempt selling books like “the pros.” I didn’t take days off even when I had covid, and I only went on weekends away to work at a secluded cabin in the woods instead of at home. Now, living in a new country, the infusion of a different work ethic has settled me down, and it’s made a difference (once I recovered from crazy burn out, that is, which btw, took two years).

By taking weekends and evenings off (and even a proper lunch break!), I feel like I’ve opened a door to let in new influences to my creativity. I watch tutorials and try new skills, I experiment more with how to design my story and subvert different tropes, and, most of all, by opening that door I’m learning to let my shame go. It’s okay that I’m not constantly writing, it’s okay that I’m not built to mentally handle social media outlets like facebook, and I’m still worthy, even if I’m not being productive. These lessons are difficult to let sink in, but I can feel the difference by slowing down and paying a little more attention to the state of my mind.

Trust me when say that the effort is worth it. As someone who has chronic stomach problems, has suffered through insomnia, and was raised to be the perfect never-stopping worker bee, my life is way better now than when I thought those states of being were simply reality that couldn’t be changed.

To sum up: Tell yourself the story of the life you want to live, love being consistent and showing up even more than what you’re making in the moment, and do what everyone always obnoxiously insists because you already know you need it: eat, sleep, and take time to rest.

Now go have a wonderful Valentines dedicated to loving your art, your writing, and most of all, yourself.

Until next time,

Lin