Asking for Book Blurbs
First, I send my apologies to every person who ever asked me on a date. I didn’t realize how awful it was to face your fear of rejection and ask anyway. I never asked because I was too shy, so I made you do it. I’m sorry.
I’m feeling like a high-school student asking their crush to the prom because I’m now asking authors I admire for a blurb about my book. A book blurb is a short, 2-3 sentence, description of a book telling the reader why they should read the book, written by other writers or experts on the topic. My publisher is requesting that I ask some of my favorite authors in my genre (memoir) to recommend my book so a reader will be interested in buying it.
Every time I ask for something from anyone, whether its a cup of coffee or a kiss, I am so nervous I have to mentally prepare myself for possible rejection. Rejection of any kind, no matter how benign (ex: “You can’t have coffee. I’m out”) feels like I am being completely rejected. Not just the request, but me, the person making the request. I know this way of thinking isn’t healthy but it’s unfortunately the way I’m wired (thank you childhood!).
Sometimes people are surprised by how shy I am and how intense my rejection sensitivity can be. I simply hate bothering people with my ordinary wants or needs. Who am I to ask for anything when people are starving in Somalia? I cover my anxiety with a veil of confidence, using the acting skills I learned in Theater, fooling everyone until I need to actually open my mouth and ask for something.
And having my art rejected is brutal! My art is an expression of myself, so of course I feel as if I’ve been tossed into the rejection pile along with my manuscript. After I wrote my first book, a 300 page novel, it was rejected by 9 agents. Because of that, it now lives on the bottom of my trunk. I also stopped submitting my essays and stories anywhere. All of my writing stayed in my journals and my laptop.
Until now.
Fear of rejection won’t get you a date to the prom or a book published, so I dutifully made my list of the authors I admire and started emailing requests. My list of authors includes those who have helped me during the darkest times of my life and memoirists I love reading today.
The outcome?
One yes. One maybe. Three no-response.
When I got that yes from one of my favorite writers I danced around my house whooping loudly, feeling like the most popular person at school had agreed to go out with me. And then the next person said they would look at my book and see if they had time. Promising. And silence from the other three doesn’t actually mean rejection, right?
My fear of rejection is getting better, but asking authors to write me a blurb still makes my stomach ache. Asking does seem to be easier now. Perhaps that will also make asking for a coffee or a kiss easier, too. Not too long ago, I gave a cute guy my phone number. Maybe I’m getting braver.
Just take a deep breath. Send another request.
How do you handle rejection?
