Slowing Down and Dialing Up
Turns out if you blister through life on panic-mode, you end up giving yourself panic attacks. I mean, who knew? Many wise people, that’s who.
The last two years have been a rollercoaster for my family. Slow, ponderous climbs followed by dizzying free-falls. My husband and I have met lifelong goals (him, finishing a 100 miler and me, publishing my first novel) while simultaneously navigating a devastating religious trauma experience that splintered our lives and community into a million glass-shard pieces. More on that later…
These milestones (and millstones) were accompanied by a rapid series of big events: house shopping, moving, long distance roadtrips, and hosting family dinners. All were good, but all kept us barreling through life at a breakneck pace. By the end of 2024, I found myself crashing. Sitting up in bed, coccooned by autumnal dark, I told my husband, “I need to slow down. I can’t keep going like this.”
This year, I’ve made it a mission to slow down and savor life. After reading John Mark Comer’s book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, I realized I needed to invite space into my life again. Space to rest, space to breathe, space to enjoy my life.
I’m a mother. A writer. A perfectionist. So this goal presents no small task. My natural inclination is to push, push, push, hustle, hustle, hustle. Make sure the house is always clean. Make sure I work out everyday. Make sure I meet those writing deadlines. Make sure my daughter gets all her extra-curriculars. Make sure I meet my reading goals. Make sure I hit my marketing goals. Make sure I reach out to friends and check on them. Make sure I stay up-to-date on news and events. Make sure, make sure, make sure. Go, go, go. Sound familiar, anyone?
Turns out if you blister through life on panic-mode, you end up giving yourself panic attacks. I mean, who knew? Many wise people, that’s who. Not me.
Here are a few practices I’m implementing in 2025 in order to regain life balance… and a shred of sanity. Reclaim Sundays. As a Christian, Sunday has always been a significant day of the week for me. But I had never really considered the importance of sabbath, from a practical standpoint. Most Christians, like myself, view Sunday as a day of worship. After reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, I realized that Sundays can (and maybe should be) days of literal rest as well. A day to unplug, relax, and just breathe for a bit. This past Sunday, I made the decision to do exactly zero chores. I let the laundry wait. I let work wait. I let everything wait. I simply enjoyed the day with my husband and daughter. After church, we went for a hike and then spent the afternoon playing, reading, and enjoying each others’ company. We grilled dinner and watched the Super Bowl (and marveled at Kendrick Lamar’s jeans, Gap Long and Lean, anyone?). I locked social media and news apps and paid no attention to my notifications. And you know what? I felt rested by the end of it. I felt recharged and refreshed.
Take consistent social media breaks. Recently, I heard the following quote, from Phylicia Masonheimer: “We like to think we are omniscent and able to absorb all the content, all the news, and know everything with zero consequences. But that’s just not true. We aren’t omniscient. We aren’t designed to process all of this information. ” Those words struck a chord in my heart. I love staying abreast of current events and trends, especially in the bookish world. But sometimes too much of a good thing … is simply too much. I found myself feeling frazzled by social media, to the point that I was questioning whether a writing career was even for me. “Take. A. Break.” — the wise words of my sweet bookish friend Lauren. Maybe this goes without saying, but if social media is leading you to doubt yourself and your vocation … you need to take a step back. For four days now, I’ve been disengaged from my social platforms, and it’s been amazing. Not only have I gotten more done, my anxiety levels have plummeted. I’ve been more present with my family and with myself. Going forward, I plan to schedule social breaks into my month. My goal: to post three days a week only and to take one week completely off every single month. Less screen time equals more writing time.
Read more of what I enjoy, not just what’s popular. I used to chase the BookTok and Bookstagram viral books. I was determined to stay “in the know” with mainstream authors and tropes. To be honest, I started to fall out of love witih reading. I found myself consistently DNFing books and losing interest. Last year, I stopped trying to force it. Instead of chasing trends, I decided to look up books similar to my five-star reads. I began to follow more review accounts (like lemonyreads and thebookscript on Instagram) with tastes simliar to my own. The result? I’m loving reading again. I’m rating books more highly and finishing more series.
Pssst, side bar… if you zoom into the above photo, you just might peep the working title of the sequel to Scythe and Pen.
Learn to say “no” or at least “not right now.” I have always been the person who tries to do it all. I will overstretch myself every single day, if I’m not careful. But lately, especially since having kids, I find myself practicing the word “no.” Not in a selfish, reclusive way, but in a I-simply-do-not-have-the-bandwidth way. In the famous words of Lorelai Gilmore, “We’re just one person!” My foray into the practice of “No” began in 2023, when I decided to stop moderating a social media site for my former church. While I loved the work and believed in the site’s cause, it had begun to monopolize my days. (Again, more on that later…) The decision to step away felt agonizing, until I did it and realized how silly I was being. We are allowed to say “no” to things when we simply do not have the time or if those things detract from the priorities of family, work, and personal space.
Even though the last few weeks have been focused on slowing down … I find myself dialing up. Dialing up the joy. Dialing up a sense of presence. Dialing up my inner peace. Dialing up a feeling of purpose again. Life loves its curveballs. But I hope that I can maintain these priorities — to unplug, rest, and savor.
What brings you joy? How do you invite rest and peace into your life? Do you ever unplug from social media?
