About My Self-Harming & How We’re All Self-Harming in Some Way & How to Win The Battle of Your Life

Maybe the greatest work of your life is to relax into being greatly loved. 

Maybe the great battle that we are actually in the midst of every day — is to believe that we are beloved. 

Maybe the real truth — that’s under attack every single day –is that you are infinitely loved,  and underneath of you are always the long arms of God’s love.

I cut as a teen. 

Maybe the greatest work of your life is to relax into being greatly loved. 

Trauma experienced as a child and bullying throughout school, left me with all kinds of pain that I didn’t know where to go with, how to process. Cutting was this sharp, visceral release of all kinds of interior ache.

Turns out: You self-harm because you’re trying to self-medicate for the pain.

You self-harm because your pain doesn’t know where to find real Love for yourself. 

And …. it would take me a long time to realize: You’re self-harming whenever you do something that isn’t for your best thriving. 

Whatever your means of self-harming — and there are countless ways to daily hurt yourself — it may mean there are parts of you that don’t think you are worthy of feeling loved, there are parts of you that don’t know where there’s any Love to hold the depths of the pain.
Turns out:

What heals all kinds of self-harming.. is feeling how you’re always held by radical love.

I was once asked in a radio interview, if I could in one sentence, share what is the one most important thing for people to know?

What is most important in the universe isn’t philosophical, biological, economical or eschatological   — it’s about a Love that’s unconditional. 

I’m not sure I had known it the moment before I actually said it outloud, words that seemed to come from somewhere else: 

The most important thing that you most need to know is —-

At the heart of the universe, is the face of God smiling love over you . 

What is most important in the universe isn’t philosophical, biological, economical or eschatological   — it’s about a Love that’s unconditional. 

I blinked it back there in the radio studio, and I’ve lived it:

I’ve been told by emergency responders at accident scenes that the person I loved didn’t make it.  

I’ve struggled to stand when the hearse drove away with the body, and I had no idea how how we’d live through the excruciating pain. 

I’ve watched a white gowned team carry our screaming baby toward OR for yet another open heart surgery. 

The most important reality is that nothing can ever happen to change the reality of God’s love for you. 

I’ve watched my baby sister killed in an accident right in front of us, and I’ve lived through raising 7 kids and we’ve navigated all kinds of unspoken broken. 

 And what has held true, through everything, that this is the one most important thing that holds us secure when everything else is falling away: 

The most important story in all the world is the unconditional love of God. 

The most important headline of the universe is that the heart of God is for you. 

The most important reality is that nothing can ever happen to change the reality of God’s love for you. 

You can be in the worst conditions  – in your thinking, in your relationships, in your family, in your temptations, in all kinds of tender ways – & Jesus still tenderly loves you counter-conditionally – in spite of those conditions.

At the heart of the whole universe and the holy Word, you do not find… 

“For God’s actually so disappointed with you … that He shook His head in despair and begrudgingly went to the Cross for the failure of you. “

Or for “God’s so  low-grade kinda disgusted with you … that He shamed you by passively aggressively dragging Himself to the Cross because of the mess of you …“

Or for “God’s so tired of barely putting up with you … that He hardly could force Himself to the Cross because He wasn’t sure how He actually felt about you….”  

Rather… at the heart of the whole universe and the holy Word, are the words that are the very heartbeat of holy God:

For God so loved the world — you — that He gave Himself …  and for you who believe in a perfect, purifying, protective love like His, you get to live forever with Divine Love Himself. 

The reality of the universe is: “God doesn’t just love you unconditionally. He loves you counter-conditionally – in spite of your conditions,” assured theologian Timothy Keller.

Which means: 

You can be stuck in the same distractions, the same temptations, the same reactions -– and Jesus sticks with you, with a love that sticks even closer than your next negative thought.

In spite of getting all kinds of things all kinds of wrong, Jesus is still in love with you in it all. 

He can be nothing else. He is Love. 

You can be stuck in the same distractions, the same temptations, the same reactions, over and over again -– and Jesus sticks with you, with a love that sticks even closer than your next negative thought.

You can be struggling and wrestling and falling and failing – and Jesus never, ever stops, one moment, still straight up loving you.  

You can be in the worst conditions  – in your thinking, in your relationships, in your family, in your temptations, in all kinds of tender ways – and Jesus still tenderly loves you counter-conditionally – in spite of those conditions.

My therapist once said words that I’d scrawled across the top of a blank page in my journal:

You will persevere in life — as well as you practice being receptive to Love. 

You will persevere in life … as well as you practice being receptive to Love. 

That’s what he said: 

 “Your real work in the world is this: Practice opening up, being receptive, to God’s love. Perseverance is the practice — of being receptive to Love.”

How do you practice being receptive to God’s love?

To change the neuroplasticity of our brains ….requires the intentionality of practice…

And to change the progress of our lives….requires the practice of being receptive to love. 

So I say it to myself, in the midst of lists and appointments and disappointments and loss and all the obstacles that are life: 

“ Let God love you today any way He wants to love you. Let God love you through these moments and circumstances.  Through whatever’s happening— feel the ways God is always happening to love you.” 

What if every part of you that you’ve labelled unlovable — is exactly where Jesus writes: unconditionally loved. 

You will persevere in life … as well as you practice being receptive to Love. 

It’s easy to be a slow learner of His warming delight in your soul: “Warm me, your servant, with a smile, save me because You love me… Blessed God! His love is the wonder of the world.” (Ps 31: 14). 

When you deeply trust that God’s smiling love rests on you — no matter what happens, your soul is deeply at rest. 

When you don’t resist all the unexpected ways God is loving you — you can expect to be the one who persists. 

What if every part of you that you’ve labelled unlovable — is exactly where Jesus writes: unconditionally loved. 

None of us may be living the life we hoped or imagined —  but we are living the realest love story beyond imagining:

Proof that Jesus so passionately loves you – is that there’s a stirring right now to to come passionately love being with Him.

 In Christ, very Love Himself smiles and “celebrates and sings because of you, and He will refresh your life with His love”  (Zephaniah 3:17 CEB).  

When you feel God smiling love over you, you are no longer under the pressure to strive for His smile, but you joyfully thrive because of His smile. 

“Unless He wanted you, you would not be wanting Him,” writes the preeminent C.S. Lewis.  

Which is just  to say: 

Proof that Jesus so passionately loves you – is that there’s a stirring right now to to come passionately love being with Him. 

And maybe that right there is the great work of every day — just to respond to that:

“If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God, by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we’re at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of His resurrection life!” is what the Best Book assures. (Romans 5:10-11 MSG) 

And the soul can feel this deep relaxing into being loved to life.

Win the Battle of Your Life: Believe that You are Unconditionally Loved

Pick up Loved to Life: A 40-Day VISUAL Pilgrimage with Jesus, through the book of John, that will:

give you enlightening insights to calm your real worriesground your identity in who you really are, regardless of failuresspeak to your deepest doubts in a profoundly steading wayand walk you in fresh, intimate ways with Jesus, Love Himself, that will grow your soul into real LIFE

And with my deepest heartfelt thanks for the support of your pre-order of LOVED TO LIFE , may I give you:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/2157050...8 hand-painted cards (by my daughter-in-love, Aurora), “How to Abide in Christ when you… ” a different kind of beautiful Habit Tracker24 “Who I am in Christ” cards with original woodcut illustrations 40 illustrated ornaments from the life of Jesus, for your own Easter tree — 40-Day Bible Reading PlanPocket Prayers for your PilgrimageA Complete “Loved to Life” Community Pilgrimage Guide With the 7 I AM Statements of Jesus — to do a Lent Pilgrimage with your people 40 Days of Seeing Yourself in Jesus’ Story: Captivating artwork paired with prompts to help you personally – and very powerfully – step into the very scenes of Scripture, immersing your life in Jesus’ story

and so many (truly incredible!!!!) more deeply spiritually formative, profoundly helpful tools coming that will help grow us in connection to each other and the Vine of Life Himself…

My heartfelt thanks for your support of pre-ordering “Loved to Life” here, where you can also claim all the deeply formative and soul-nourishing free gifts… from my heart to yours, connecting us all to His.

ORDER LOVED TO LIFE HERE & CLAIM ALL YOUR FREE GIFTS FOR THE MOST POWERFUL LENT