What is Home?
The last week has been…horrific. I don’t mind admitting that I’ve had trouble sleeping and controlling my worst fears as I’ve watched a coup unfold in my country of birth, and heard the threats and completely unfair accusations against the country where I now live — the staunchest friend and ally America has ever had. Yesterday, in particular, was very difficult as we waited to see if tariffs would be levelled against Canada or not, starting a trade war that would be extremely damaging to both economies. At the last minute, they were averted for a month, but I don’t think we’ve seen the end of this.
Rough times teach us things. I’ve discovered that I truly love Canada, and feel grateful and protective of what we have here. By contrast to the U.S., we aren’t particularly nationalistic or patriotic (although Quebec has its own reasons for hanging together as a society), and have been pretty complacent about what we have here, but this period of time has shown that we will pull together strongly if threatened, and that we do appreciate and understand what makes us different.
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I also love the U.S., where I was born and lived for the first 50 years of my life. Watching the rapidity of this attempt to tear apart the government and seize control for the executive branch; the power and access given to unelected oligarchs; the vicious attacks on some of the most vulnerable groups of people; the bullying of allies; and insistence on “respect” by a would-be dictator have appalled me. Even if we knew much of this was coming, seeing it unfold is terrible. As a dual citizen who knows history and understands the fragility of democracy, the pain I feel is tremendous.
In the past few days, though, I’ve also come to a clearer place in my head. For me, “home” isn’t a country, but the internal place where my heart resides; I carry this with me wherever I am. In terms of the public sphere, I know where right and wrong lie, and what needs to be protected — and I will put my heart and soul into doing that. But in the private sphere, I recognize what I need, and what many of us need: places of rest and beauty where we can restore ourselves, and friends of like minds with whom we can talk, mourn, and build strong community. For me, music, art, reading, and nature are essential, and I plan to delve into them every day. We need to eat well and get enough sleep. Exercise is also important; swimming has been especially good for me lately. This is self-preservation. We can’t help anyone else, or any larger cause, if we ourselves are a wreck. We need, first of all, to do this work of making an indestructible home inside ourselves.
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Part of the great difficulty we all face is our perceived powerlessness in the face of the forces currently at work. And yet, we are never without the power that comes from a strong inner life and the conscious decisions that flow from it. While that power may not be able to stop injustice today, it gives us the strength to endure and to help the people around us, and be ready when opportunities arise.
Here are some concrete actions I’m taking:
Practicing the piano or my flute every day.
Keeping up my sketching and art practice, and making work to share with you.
Working on building supportive and committed community here in Montreal and within my online circles of friends.
I’m getting off Facebook permanently, and encouraging the organizations and groups I belong to to do likewise. (I’ve never been on X, and would find it unjustifiable.)
Limiting my intake of news, and reading only what is most reliable. I read The Guardian, The New York Times (in which I’ve been deeply disappointed for a long time, but it’s still important), Al Jazeera, and the CBC. ProPublica and various Substack authors (see my feed for recommendations) round out my main sources. Here, for instance, is Robert Hubbell’s Substack - a legal scholar/observer and self-described optimist who writes about politics “through a lens of hope.”
Becoming more involved in the Canadian electoral process to help ensure that we don’t elect a conservative government here.
Insisting that my Democratic representatives (I vote in Vermont as well as in Canada) do everything they can to block, obstruct, and resist the administration’s unconstitutional attempts to dismantle democracy, and to be far more visible and active opposition leaders than they have been up until now. (Bernie Sanders is an exception, and I’m proud he’s one of our senators.)
Asking you, the readers, how you’re doing, what you need, and what’s helping. Let’s talk to each other.
