How To Stop Letting Fear Call the Shots: Breaking the Grip of Fear

Riley Kehoe is no stranger to fear: At 10 years old, she survived the 2004 Southeast Asian tsunami in Thailand which killed 230,000 people. That traumatic event was just the beginning of her story of learning to move from fear to bravery, one small step at a time. I’m humbly grateful to welcome her to the farm’s table and share a piece of her heart with us here today…

Guest Post by Riley Kehoe

Fear often feels like an immovable wall, a looming shadow threatening to keep us from the life we’re meant to live.

But what if fear is more than an obstacle?

What if, behind its façade, lies a gift waiting to be unwrapped?

Growing up, I experienced fear in some of the simplest, most unexpected moments.

Birthdays in my family were grand affairs filled with joy, balloons, and laughter. The kitchen was transformed into a festive wonderland with streamers and the smell of French toast, eggs, and bacon wafting through the air. Yet, amid all the celebration, there was one tradition I dreaded.

At the end of the day, my mom would take a knife and pop every single balloon. The sound terrified me. Even as I grew older, this irrational fear followed me. The sight of a balloon was enough to make me uneasy, the thought of one popping even more so.

Years later, when I was 18, this fear reared its head in a painfully embarrassing way.

“I began to see that the more we expose ourselves to our fears, the less grip they have on our lives.“

I was at a party, trying to gather the courage to talk to a boy I had liked for years. After summoning every ounce of bravery I had, I finally walked over and started a conversation. But then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone holding a balloon and a knife. With one swift motion, they popped the balloon, and I panicked. Without a word, I turned and bolted out of the house, got into my car, and drove away.

Later that night, the boy texted me asking, “What happened? Where did you go?” I was so mortified by my reaction that I couldn’t bring myself to reply. I felt defeated, frustrated, and, most of all, tired of letting fear control my actions.

That’s when I decided enough was enough.

I began a small but significant ritual: buying balloons for friends’ birthdays. Blowing them up was terrifying at first—I barely inflated them to avoid any chance of popping. They were tiny, drooping balloons, more comical than celebratory. But each time I faced my fear, it lost a little of its power over me. I began to see that the more we expose ourselves to our fears, the less grip they have on our lives. Fear thrives in avoidance; confrontation is its kryptonite.

This lesson extended beyond balloons. Growing up, I had a passion for public speaking. I would line up my dolls and preach sermons to them, complete with altar calls. But as I got older, fear began to choke that dream.

I’ll never forget the day in high school when I was asked to read aloud in class. My hands shook as I stared at the book, unable to get a single word out. My classmates’ laughter and the teacher’s impatient sighs only made it worse. I sat down, humiliated, vowing never to let myself feel that way again.

Looking back, I see how fear isolated me. It told me I was the only one who struggled, that my stutter and nerves made me unworthy of the calling I felt so deeply.

But fear is a liar.

When I finally started sharing my struggles with others, I realized how universal fear is. We may not all fear the same things, but we all know what it feels like to be held back by it.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act in spite of it.

Every time I chose to buy a balloon or stand up to speak, I chipped away at fear’s control over my life. Each act of bravery, no matter how small, brought me closer to the life I knew I was meant to live. 

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the decision to act in spite of it.“

Yes, God tells us “do not be afraid” hundreds of times in the Bible. But when I read those words, I don’t think He expects us to live a life completely free of fear (although, wouldn’t that be incredible?). Instead, I believe He’s asking us to stop letting fear sit in the driver’s seat—making the decisions, setting the course, and calling the shots. God wants us to hand the wheel to courage. “Have I not commanded you?” He says in Joshua 1:9, “Be strong and courageous.” Notice, this isn’t a suggestion—it’s a command.

Friend, fear doesn’t have to write the final chapter of your story. In fact, it’s often the prologue to something incredible.

Behind every fear is a chance to grow, to connect, and to find joy. Let’s unwrap those gifts together. Fear often shows us what we really care about.

Make the choice today:

Fear doesn’t get to call the shots anymore.

Decide to move forward, even if it means doing it scared.

Courage will meet you there.

Riley Kehoe is a speaker, writer, and influencer. Born in London and raised in New Zealand, Riley has a master’s degree in global leadership from Fuller Theological Seminary. A sought-after speaker and active blogger, Riley has been featured on a TEDx Talk and many media outlets including CNN and  The History Channel. She and her husband live in Nashville.

In Three Seconds of Courage, Riley tells the remarkable story of how she survived the 2004 Southeast Asian tsunami and learned that small acts of bravery can change your life in ways you can’t imagine. A decision made in just three seconds can mean the difference between a life of isolation and one of connection, between playing it safe and taking a bold step forward, between being self-focused and reaching out to help others, between holding a grudge and offering and accepting forgiveness. Her book will inspire you to push past your comfort zone, look beyond your own life, and act courageously for the good of those around you.

Learn more about Riley at RileyWithCourage.com or follow her on Instagram @rileywithcourage.

{Our humble thanks to Baker Books for their partnership in today’s devotional.}