Getting Picky about…Toilet Paper

Okay, this post is not about toilet paper. It’s about male/female understanding of toilet paper consumption.

See, I live in a house that has 3 females and 1 male. The one male in the house seems to think the females use an excessive amount of toilet paper. Except that, well, we’re girls. And last I checked, one square of toilet paper equals messy hands. Trust me, we’ve had enough fun just getting the girls to wipe properly. The last thing I’m going to do is tell them to use less toilet paper.

But last week, hubby, bless him, went grocery shopping while I sat my happy ass in a chair and revised my book from hell. I had on the list a specific brand of toilet paper: Cottonelle Double Rolls. Why? Because they last the longest and it doesn’t feel like you’re wiping with hot sauce and kitty litter.

He comes home with Quilted Northern. Now there’s nothing wrong with Quilted Northern. The bears are very good advertisers for the softness of the tissue. But the rolls, they go quickly. And while I’m certain my daughters will kill me when they’re older for saying this, let’s just leave it at, well, there needs to be toilet paper in their bathroom or bad things happen that require bleach to clean up.

So when I pointed out that he’d bought the wrong brand, he proceds to give me a teeny bit of grief about how I’m the only one who uses a catchers mitt worth of toilet paper to wipe and that I’ve taught the girls the same thing.

Dude, you only have one body part to wipe. I have 2. And I prefer to do this WITHOUT getting human waste on my hands. I’m funny that way.

It’s not like it was a huge argument or anything but it was funny to me that we even had the conversation. My name is Jess and I use a lot of tp.

And that is your random Tuesday thought. Have a great week.