Learn From Others

I opened my grandma's happiness file and read the word she'd written in 1998: Learn from others. This brought back a memory of something that happened in the radiation oncology department not too long ago. 

Previously, I'd told myself (in August of 2023) that when I finished rounds of radiation, I would never endure that specific kind of cancer treatment again. But I guess that saying "never say never" is true because here we are in 2025, and I'm willingly going back again.
I was just thinking about this in the radiation clinic when I overheard a couple talking a few seats away. They were probably in their 80s, and the kindest looking people. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but they spoke in such earnest tones that it was hard not to listen.

The man must've noticed my interest, because at one point, he turned to me and smiled disarmingly. "How's your day going?" he asked.

"It's okay," I said, then followed up with, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I just… I overheard part of what you were saying. You got radiation once and said you'd never come back?" I asked.

"It was... different than I expected," he said. "Is this your first time?"

I shook my head. "Actually, I've been here multiple times, for multiple rounds. It's like playing whack-a-mole at this point."

He laughed, and then, after a moment, he leaned forward. "So you know how hard it actually is?" he whispered. "The fatigue? And nausea?"

I nodded. 

"I didn't want to tell you why I said that a while back. Didn't wanna discourage you if you were about to go in."

"What did you have radiated?" I asked. 

"My brain." He tapped the side of his head. "How about you?" 

"Spine, brain, pelvis, and hip."

"Wow!" His eyes widened. "You really have been here a lot."

"It's all right," I replied. "I'm just so grateful to be alive." I sat back in my seat. "If you don't mind my asking... what made you decide to get radiation again?"

 "Like you said, it kept me alive." 

He squeezed his wife's hand, and she finally spoke. "Ever since the first time Joe went into remission, he started keeping a progress log. Every day, he writes down what everyone in the family has been doing. When the cancer came back, we went through the log together and highlighted the best moments of every month." 

"There were so many things in my life that I didn't really appreciate until I got sick," he added. "I started living in the present and really looking forward to things." 

I nodded with understanding. 

"I looked back at all of the time—and years—I would've missed if I hadn't gotten radiation the first time. After reading through the progress log, it felt surreal how everyone in my family grew so much as people. And I got to watch. I had a front-row seat for all of it." He smiled reflectively. "A couple of our grandkids graduated from college. One of them even got married! I just can't imagine missing out on that or missing the look of pride on our son's face."

The two of them turned to each other with such love, and the woman actually had tears in her eyes.

So, I heard an incredible reminder from a couple of strangers. And when the nurse called me back to my appointment and I spoke with the radiation oncologist, I didn't feel quite as hesitant as I had before. 

"How are you doing today?" my doctor asked me.

"Much better," I said, and I meant it.