Goodbye to Oughts That

were like being in an eight-year abusive relationship. George Bush was on crack. It was Iraq. He and his thug pals terrorized the neighborhood, especially the gay kids. He ran up the credit card bills. He left the place in shambles. He was always at the gym. And all our friends would pull us aside and whisper, "Why do you stay with him?"

In the ought years of this decade the Twin towers fell. We invaded Afghanistan. Then for reasons that should have been worked out in therapy...