When I was a kid, people often asked what I’d wish for if a genie said he’d grant three wishes

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

Even as children, we knew being and/or appearing greedy was unseemly. This meant that the first of those three wishes had to be:

I wish for world peace.

Next, we’d add something everyone else in the neighborhood had gotten for Christmas or a birthday. Like:

I wish for a new Schwinn Sting-Ray bike in flamboyant lime

Since the powers that be said it was illegal to use the third wish to ask for three more wishes, a lot of us tacked on something to help the family:

I wish Grandpa would get off the sauce.

Those of us who read fantasy fiction were careful about the kind of genie we’d ask to meet our wants and needs. Otherwise, even the most carefully worded wish would contain a hideous catch. Hence the pastime of making up and spreading genie jokes.

Here are several from James Martin’s page:

During a first date a man and a woman were telling each other about their pasts. The man said “A genie once gave me the option of becoming more attractive to women, or having an exceptional memory.” “Which one did you choose?” the woman asked. He replied, “I don’t remember.”A representative said, “I wish I was on an island surrounded by beautiful women.” Poof. He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him. “This is the life,” the congressman sighed. “I wish I would never have to work again.” And poof, he was back in his government office.A man was walking down the beach and picked up a very old bottle. As he rubbed it to remove the sand a genie popped out and said, “You can have one wish.” The man thought for a minute and said, “Make it so all women will love me.” Poof, in an instant the man was changed into a bar of chocolate.

And those are the sanitized examples.

We usually heard the beggars would ride quote when parents, ministers, stand-up comics, and other authority figures hear us wishing for things they thought we should work for: (e.g., I wish I had good grades). Work for it? How lame is that?

[image error]Long before “The Secret” was published, I read a bunch of magic books that said I could manifest stuff with my thoughts. There there are two catches. (1) You have to truly believe the mainfestation will happen. (2) If you manifested  $10000000 into your bank account or a new Rolls Royce into your garage, you’d have to explain to the IRS where you got it.

Working for it is easier than wishing for it, or so it seems.

–Malcolm