PERKY PACKAGE

(the rear end photo is classified information)

I’m toldMy filter sometimes teeters into hullaballoo territory. The Doyenne of Oversharing? Coucou, c’est moi! Are you sitting comfortably? Me too because... My rear end recently receivedClandestine bum-implants While I was sleepingAnd - woopdeedoo - the bouncy stuff came as a box-setBecause I got the matching boobs, too!This acute awareness of absolute Super-Mega-BoingOccurred on January 6,The day my husband and I took down the Christmas Tree.So, I’m wondering whether I should thankThe Three KingsFor popping in and turningSecret Santa into Secret Surgery. However, I remain convinced that Caspar and co. Got their Regal Knickers in a TwistAs I’ve never sashayed down the bootiliciousAisle of the lingerie department.You see,Less protuberant nether-landsAre far more suited to my lifestyle and body type. So, if you didn’t receive your perky package,Rest assured.It is currently perchedOn a blue and yellow cushionImpatiently waiting to be redespatched To its rightful owner.