THE SNARK IN THE MIRROR

Photo by Jana Shnipelson at Unsplash

I am beginning to find itHard to ignoreThe insultsBeing hurled at meBy the rude, impatient personIn the mirrorWho should know betterThan to pass ridiculous, cruel judgment onThis new plethora of full-body pudge-pudding rolls,All ailments and brilliant new medications considered.I should rebuke her insensitive remarksAbout my trunk now overflowing with junk,Send her to the corner to mull overThe amount of crap I’ve endured.I should tell her that the hissy fit she pulled tonightOver a series of unexpected and somewhat upsetting wardrobe malfunctionsWas beyond unacceptable,And that from now on she can bloody wellZip it.But of course, I know damn well she’ll just smirk and say,“Well, I would if I could, but everything’s too tight.”She’s awful, you know. She really is.

Buy me cake!