The 12 Days of Liz: Day Six: What We Talk About When We Talk About Sex

Or during sex. Forest Jane and Clever Cherry started a conversation in the comment thread a couple of posts back and I chipped in and said my characters don’t talk during sex. That’s not quite right, I think it’s more that they don’t talk about what they’re doing, or banter, or do cute dialogue, if what they have to say is so important that they’re going to verbalize in media res, it’s not going to be a play by play, it’s going to be about something bigger than the moment, like Phin trying to figure out Sophie’s repressed longings or Tilda and Davy at the end of Faking It, confessing madly while they make love because they can both finally tell the truth. But I think usually dialogue during a sex scene undercuts the intensity.

But Forest Jane was really talking about banter before sex, and I’m not a fan of that, either, because it seems to me that at that point, the chips are down, the flirting is over, and it’s time to negotiate terms, not by talking but by approach. I like the lead-up to the scene in Act One because neither one of them has a huge stake in the act. Vince basically says, “You want to come to my place?” and Liz says, “Yes,” because she’s trying to forget Cash and because she could use some exercise. They’re both pretty blase about things, which makes it so much fun to knock the props out from under them, when Liz sees where Vince lives, when Vince realizes that Liz understands and is impressed by where he lives, all of their conversation before they hit the sheets is about the fact that Vince lives in a diner. The fact they both love diners and know the history of this one changes the way they look at each other right before they have sex, and that changes everything. Then something else happens and that shifts things, and then they have sex, and then something completely unrelated happens and that changes things. The way Vince kisses her good-bye at her front door is actually more important than the sex; the sex is exercise, but the kiss is emotional.

So I’m thinking, thanks to FJ and CC, that talking about sex is actually not that erotic or interesting in a book (at least in my books) it’s the stuff that shifts the lovers’ perceptions about each other–Phin’s intense interest in what Sophie thinks that makes Sophie rethink Phin, the mutual exhilaration of Davy and Tilda confessing, Liz and Vince’s shared love of diners–the stuff that makes them look at each other with new eyes, makes them vulnerable to each other. Lani’s big on vulnerability in characters and I think she’s right. The problem with banter is that there’s no vulnerability unless it’s a cover-up for fear or nervousness. So it’s great for flirting where nothing’s on the line yet, but when it’s time to take off clothes, the things that make people weak in the knees aren’t about the stuff above the knees, they’re the emotional things the characters did not see coming.

At least in my books. Other books mileage may differ, definitely in erotica, it’s different. But it’s been interesting to me to actually think about it, to see my characters saying words they would never say and have that instant no reaction, no they would not do that, and then having to think why they wouldn’t. I think it may just be my perception after all. But since my perceptions are my characters’ perceptions, it’s pretty much the same thing.