what if…

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i started reading the eft manual by dawson church
as i have been running in circles
trying to figure out
why i can’t run forward
i don’t want to be stuck in this rut
i’m tired of keeping myself in darkness
but i don’t know how to get out
so i started reading this book
& some stuff started moving
i have yet to actually try “tapping”
because i noticed i had a block against it
i noticed i have a block against healing
against moving forward
& i realized
i realized
i hold onto my pain because i think my pain makes me
who i am
i hold onto my pain because
what if
i don’t know who i am without my pain?

i guess there is only one way to find out for sure
right?