The Blessing

F.U.&.K. CANCER,
is a popular saying,
about five months ago
I found out I had stage four
liver and pancreatic cancer

at first we thought I had
only a few months to live
but it turned out the cancer
wasn’t garden variety super
deadly pancreatic cancer

oddly my cancer is more often
found in lungs, which is scary
but it is slower growing
now the doctor says I may have a few years
years, not months, that’s a blessing

but the main blessing is the cancer itself,
the knowing I am dying before I turn seventy
the doctor admitted I am doing better
he said, looking back, in August,
he thought I might be gone by now.

The thing is, now I know a secret:
everyday, even with nausea, headaches,
cramps and digestive issues, I am lucky,
life is wonderful, the air is delicious,
the companionship of friends
and the love of family are sweet

so whether I have 100 days
or five years, I am grateful
we are all dying, we all have cancer
and yet, I am blessed to know, to see
the short days I have left are all
magical, wonderful, truly a gift,
a gift for living, not grieving.