that all too familiar feeling

[image error]KODAK Digital Still Camera

that it is all just stupid & pointless
& why am i even trying?
i want to delete everything i have ever done
or said
because surely i am just the biggest idiot
that ever walked the earth….

where does it come from?
why can’t i just stop feeling this way?
will it ever stop
or
do i just have to wait for death
to relieve me of my pain?

i know i won’t always feel this way
maybe later today
or tomorrow
i will feel elated again
connected to the universe
grounded & centered…
until i fall again

all too much lately
i wonder what the point to it all is
& why didn’t i just kill myself
years ago
& spare myself
the ridiculousness
of me?