Below The Equator I: I Don’t Need A Reason To Go To Buenos Aires, But I Have A Few

[A Gaucho. Source: Wikipedia.]

In Llama land, there’s a one man band

And he’ll toot his flute for you…

–Come Fly With Me. Songwriters: Sammy Cahn/Jimmy Van Heusen. The song is referencing Peru.

In Buenos Aires, tango’s a must,

Even pigeons here dance in the dust.

Empanadas so good, you’ll shed a tear,

But watch your wallet–pickpockets are near.

The Obelisco stands tall and proud,

A giant toothpick amidst the crowd!

–A ChatGBT poem at my request. Important: This is NOT my poem. It’s AI.

Everybody knows the world is round. Most everyone that is. These days when the glaciers melt on camera and people still say climate change is a hoax…well, what can I say? Let’s just go with the assumption that the world is indeed round. We’ve all seen globes so we all know that the USA is up and South America is down. A student once argued with me that rivers can’t flow north because that was up, and rivers can’t flow up. He was in sixth grade so I guess that must be the truth.

Now here I am packing for a trip to Argentina. We’re going there for these (and other) reasons:

When it’s our winter, it’s their summer. So it’s warmer.I’ve been told by my back surgeon that warm weather is better on arthritis than chilly damp weather (see the forecast for N.Y.C.). I usually obey the doctors orders.The cost of living in Buenos Aires is a fraction of that in Manhattan. (Almost every place on earth is).I like a good steak once in a while. Buenos Aires is said to have a vibrant art scene with lots of galleries and museums.My Lonely Planet guidebook reports that the coffee is great.The park near our apartment in Palermo has miles of bike paths.I love the author Jorge Luis Borges. He never won the Nobel Prize but he is considered a writer of major importance. He went blind at age 55 and, instead of learning Braille, he would memorize long passages of literature.The Tango is very sexy. [More on that later.]There are Gauchos there. [More on that later.]One US dollar is equal to 1,028 Argentine Pesos. This will make me feel rich.

So, with all of that, what’s not to like about Argentina? It has a interesting history. I loved Evita. Wasn’t Madonna great? I always cry when I hear her lilting voice soar through “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina”. Evita’s husband, Juan, was a lot of fun. Until he wasn’t.

But I digress.

I really want to talk about Gauchos. To be honest, I never like the sound of the word. The way it starts back in my Pharyngeal Wall, past my Palatine tonsils and off my tongue. I like the idea of a Gaucho, just the word bothered me…as a child, that is. I’m better with it now. Unfortunately, we will likely not be traveling up into the Pampas where these Argentine cowboys live and handle the cattle and ride the range. The photo at the top of the blog is a Gaucho from a few generations back. Here is a more recent photo:

[A modern-day Gaucho. Photo source: Pintrest.]

After looking at this picture, I think I get where the producers of the Clint Eastwood films of the squinting high plains drifter got their inspiration.

The Tango? Oh, my, the tango. It’s pretty hot when you see it done properly. And I’m not talking about the Marlon Brando movie here. [Full disclosure: I’ve never danced the tango. I had enough trouble with the ‘Twist’ and the ‘Locomotion’. And don’t even mention the ‘Hokey Pokey’. My back has been very sore for decades, and that what’s it all about.]

Now, where does all this leave us? This post is just a teaser, in case you haven’t guessed. We will be leaving for Buenos Aires on New Year’s Eve. While thousands of party-goers will be standing in the cold rain in Times Square waiting for the Ball To Drop, I will be seated on the aisle of an American Airline flight, heading south. It will only be a 12-hour trip to BA so I expect to arrive in a world of discomfort. Frankly, I don’t know if my body will allow me to stay seated and belted in, instead of screaming in agony while running down the aisle waving a copy of a biography of Che Guevara.

If nothing else, it will be interesting.

This is only the first post about my journey south, below the equator. As I said earlier, Argentina is ‘down there’, so the trip should be easy.

It’s all downhill.

Enjoy the blogs in the days and weeks to come. And, let me know you enjoy them.

{Please note: ALL of January’s blogs will not be about my Argentina trip. I will be dropping a few into the stream if I feel the urge to put my content out there on any other topic. If you stick with me, it’s all a win-win situation for you, my dear readers. Additional note: I really dream of being a podcaster but I hate the sound of my voice. So I have to type and type and type, while listening to the awful sound of my own voice in my head imagining that all this a popular podcast and that I have finally achieved my ultimate dream of being a Tik-Tock Influencer pushing merch like a jaw-line definer. Just sayin’.}

[My stuff, positioned on our living room floor for maximum wood grain effect. Absent for the photo shoot: My Passport. I won’t be forgetting that. Photo is obviously mine.]