Dealing with Judgment from Others: A Story of Patience, Play, and Growth

Social gatherings can be a beautiful mix of joy, connection, and warmth—but they can also come with challenges, significantly if you’re raising a neurodiverse child. I know this all too well. Let me share a story from a recent event that might resonate with you.

The Comment That Stung

We were at a lunch gathering where conversations hum in the background, and kids zigzag between adults. Full of excitement, my son ran in circles, his laughter echoing through the room. For him, this was pure joy. For others? Not so much.

A friend leaned over and said, “Why can’t he just sit still like the other kids?”

It was a moment when time slowed down. I felt their words sting, a mix of frustration and defensiveness bubbling up. My first instinct was to snap back, but I paused. I’ve learned that how I respond to these moments matters—not just for me but for my son, who watches and absorbs everything.

Responding With Grace

I took a deep breath and smiled. “He’s learning to manage his energy,” I said. “And we’re working together to help him channel it in ways that work for him.”

It wasn’t an explanation meant to change their mind, but it was honest and rooted in love. And most importantly, it kept my emotions in check. I’ve seen these moments as opportunities—not to educate others (although that’s a bonus) but to model the patience and understanding I want my son to develop.

Turning Frustration Into Connection

Later that afternoon, I noticed my son starting to feel restless again. Instead of asking him to sit quietly—an overwhelming and unfair task for him—I decided to play.

“Hey, buddy,” I said, crouching to his level. “Want to play a game? Let’s see how long we can sit still like statues. Ready, set, freeze!”

He froze, his face lighting up with delight. Five seconds in, he giggled and said, “Your turn, Mommy!”

We played this game for a few minutes before he naturally shifted to a calmer state. The energy wasn’t forced out of him—it was redirected in a way that worked for both of us.

What I’ve Learned

Dealing with judgmental relatives is never easy, but it’s taught me a few important lessons:

Pause Before Reacting: Our first instinct might be to defend or explain, but taking a moment to breathe and respond calmly sets the tone for everyone involved.Reframe the Narrative: Instead of seeing comments as attacks, I try to view them as misunderstandings. My response becomes an opportunity to gently shift perspectives.Use Play as a Tool: Redirecting energy through playful, collaborative activities isn’t just practical—it strengthens the bond between parent and child.Choose Compassion Over Judgment: Relatives may not fully understand your child’s needs, but meeting their judgment with kindness can diffuse tension and set a positive example for your child.A Gentle Reminder

If you’ve ever faced judgmental comments about your parenting or child, know this: You’re not alone. These moments, while challenging, don’t define your journey or your child’s progress. What truly matters is the love, patience, and strategies you bring to the table every day.

So, the next time relative comments on your child’s behavior, take a deep breath. Respond with kindness. And when the moment passes, play a game with your little one. You’ll both come out of it feeling more vigorous.

How do you handle judgmental relatives? I’d love to hear your stories and strategies!

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Recommended Products for Families of Neurodiverse Children Sensory Fidget Toys  – Look for items like liquid motion bubblers or stress-relief squeeze balls. These help kids manage sensory needs and regulate emotions during challenging moments. Chewable Necklaces or Chewy Tubes – These are great for children who seek oral sensory input. They can also serve as a calming tool during overwhelming family gatherings. Weighted Blankets or Lap Pads – These provide calming, deep-pressure input that can help your child feel grounded during social situations or moments of stress. Visual Timers  – Perfect for managing transitions or setting boundaries during family interactions. They give a clear visual indication of time limits. Interactive Activity Books  – Find options with reusable stickers, puzzles, or colouring activities to keep kids engaged during family events.

They’re practical resources for families navigating the complexities of judgmental relatives while supporting their child’s needs.