Thurs. Dec. 19, 2024: Under Pressure

image courtesy of Ana María Romero Velázquez 

Thursday, December 19, 2024

Waning Moon

Chiron, Uranus, Jupiter, Mars Retrograde

Cloudy and cold

You can read the short post over on Gratitude and Growth. Not much to say, I’m afraid!

Yesterday, I wrote and submitted the book review, and submitted the batch invoice. Was paid within the hour (love this client), and got my next assignment. That money has to go right out the door to pay the internet bill, but at least it arrived.

There’s been nothing all week from the other client, in spite of a deadline having come and gone.

The entire rest of the day was spent on the ghostwriting project. I’d hoped to finish it so today would be just about polishing, tomorrow morning a final proofread. I’m close to finishing, but not quite there yet.

It was a good day’s work, although more finicky than the way I usually work. But I’m there to work within their vision. Part of the reason it’s taking me longer than I expect is because I’m trying to match their parameters. But I’m happy with the work itself that I am doing, and I hope they are, too. I hope we can have constructive conversations about how I can align better with their voice, and then move on to the next trial assignment.

I worked right up until the moment I had to leave for tarot. The only reason I made myself go to tarot is because I had small gifts for people. Otherwise, I would have stayed home and kept working. My brain was mush there, and I wasn’t able to contribute much. It was hard to get home in the bad weather, but I managed.

I started the contest judging, mostly so the administrator would get the eff off my back. This is the second year I’ve done this contest. It will be the last.

Heard from the other contest (the one I’ve been doing for years) that my first shipment is on the way. It should arrive December 27, so I will start that reading right after the new year.

I am out of ink again because of course I am.

Cooked dinner, read for pleasure in the evening and played with the cats, because my brain was cooked, and I was worried any work I’d do on the ghostwriting project would be counterproductive and just need to be redone today.

Did not sleep well. Got up early. Got the cats fed. Tried to sit for meditation, but Charlotte was being impossible, and my mind was scattered. I had to keep “beginning again” every two minutes until the entire session was over.

This morning I have to take my mother to her new primary care physician, and hope we are not turned away because I am still fighting about the hospital bill. The rest of the day is about finishing and polishing the ghostwriting project. I want to get it out the door earlier in the day tomorrow, not at the last minute at the end of the day.

I’m feeling a sense of stress that is somewhat out of proportion to reality, worried about worst case scenarios instead of dealing with what is just in front of me, and I need to stop.

I need to get the ghostwriting project out the door; I need to finish cookie deliveries; Saturday evening I’m attending a Solstice ritual, and then doing my own. Once I get the groceries in for the holiday, I am just hunkering down next week and doing as little as possible. If scripts come in, I will turn them around (but not on the holiday itself – I’m tired of the pressure to work through all weekends and all holidays).

I need some rest and some mental space.

On the upside, two of the packages sent out on Tuesday are set to arrive early! Woo-hoo! Hope the cards are starting to arrive, too.

Have a good one!