Strategies for Better Behavior & Self-Control at School: A Journey with My Son

Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like riding a roller coaster of emotions, especially when it comes to school. I’ve seen firsthand how challenging it can be to help my son stay focused, calm, and in control during school hours. But I’ve also learned that small, intentional strategies can make a difference. So, let me share some of the tricks we’ve discovered together that can help your child gain better self-control in school.

1.     Start the Day with Calmness 

How you begin the day can set the tone for the rest. For us, this means taking a few minutes each morning to breathe together before we head out the door. It’s not just about making sure he doesn’t rush into school with anxiety. It’s about teaching him how to anchor himself in moments of stress. We sit in a quiet spot, breathe in and out, and even make a game of “super slow” breathing where we pretend to smell a flower and blow out a candle. This short but sweet routine helps him feel centred and ready to face the day’s challenges.

2.     Break Tasks Into Manageable Steps 

My son’s attention span can sometimes be challenging, especially when the schoolwork starts piling up. Instead of overwhelming him with long lists of tasks, I’ve learned to break them into smaller, bite-sized chunks. For example, when it’s time for homework, instead of saying, “Finish your math and then read,” I’ll say, “Let’s finish the first set of problems together, and then we’ll take a break.” This helps him stay focused and feel accomplished with each small victory. The key here is starting small and celebrating those little steps because each completed task builds momentum for the next.

3.     Create Positive Reinforcements 

I can’t stress this enough: positive reinforcement works wonders. When my son successfully follows through on something – whether staying seated during class or listening for the first time – we celebrate. We don’t wait for the “big” wins to recognize his efforts. In fact, we celebrate small wins with a high five, a dance, or a sticker chart. This helps him feel proud of his progress and encourages him to make good choices. The goal is to recognize effort and progress, not perfection.

4.     Design a Calming Space 

School can be overwhelming, especially when sensory overload sets in. So, I’ve always emphasized the importance of having a safe, calming space when emotions run high. A cosy corner with soft pillows, sensory toys, or calming visuals can make all the difference at school. He knows he has a place to take a breather when things get too much. At home, we’ve mirrored this idea with his “chill-out zone,” where he can sit quietly with books or puzzles if he needs to decompress.

5.     Teach Self-Awareness and Triggers 

Helping children with ADHD understand what triggers their reactions is key. At home, we’ve discussed what might make him upset or distracted. For example, we talked about how noisy classrooms, too many people, or not knowing what comes next can make him anxious or restless. By identifying these triggers, we can create strategies to manage them together. The goal isn’t to avoid every situation but rather to equip him with the tools to handle his emotions when they arise. Knowing when he’s starting to feel overwhelmed gives him the power to take control before things escalate.

6.     Structure and Consistency 

Children, especially those with ADHD, thrive on routine. Knowing what to expect each day helps my son stay in control. I’ve made it a point to keep his school mornings and evenings structured – from when he wakes up to when he gets ready for bed. This consistent routine helps reduce anxiety, smooth transitions, and allow him to stay on track throughout the day. The more predictable the environment, the better he controls his behaviour.

7.     Role-Playing Social Skills 

Navigating school social dynamics can sometimes be tricky for kids with ADHD. That’s where role-playing comes in handy. We’ve played out different social scenarios at home, like asking a friend to play or dealing with a disagreement. These practice sessions help my son feel more confident in real-life situations and give him the language to express his feelings or ask for help when needed. This play therapy approach has taught him empathy, patience, and how to manage his emotions during peer interactions.

8.     Use Visual Aids for Organization 

Visuals are a game changer when it comes to staying organized. At home, we use colour-coded charts and visual schedules that outline his daily tasks. The same approach works at school, too – having visual reminders of what needs to be done next or what behaviour is expected helps him stay on track. It’s incredible how much easier it is for him to follow instructions when he can see them, making the process more manageable.

Final Thoughts: Patience and Progress

Behaviour change, especially concerning self-control, doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey, and there will be setbacks along the way. But with consistency, encouragement, and creativity, you can help your child gain better control over their behaviour. The goal is to emphasize growth, not flawless results, and to acknowledge every small success.

Remember, every small step toward self-regulation counts. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a breath. You’re doing great, and your child is learning valuable skills that will last a lifetime.

Let’s Connect

What strategies have worked for you and your child? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

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Recommended Products: Sensory Fidget Toys Set  

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Liquid Motion Bubbler Timer  

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Magnetic Fidget Rings  

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Body Sock Sensory Therapy  

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These toys are great additions to your home or classroom to promote emotional regulation and improve self-control in children.