2024 for the Wins

I had a few ideas for a post this week. One idea was to write about how social media reflects reality in the same way that getting punched in the genitals is like laying in a hammock on a warm summer’s day. Another idea was to write about last Saturday, when I performed several manly acts: installing a Flume on our water meter, killing a cricket with my bare hands, and taking out a wasp nest with nothing but my wits and the best chemicals Lowe’s sells. But then I went to yoga and struggled to find my way into a figure-four plank, which gave me the idea that I should about how frustration isn’t the byproduct of failure, but rather the lubricant.

Instead of writing, however, I procrastinated. I marinated some tofu for dinner. I did a load of laundry. I played some John Denver, who has been in heavy rotation around here since the election. I was about to text Christina at work to ask her what I should write about, when I remembered that this was the last Situation Normal post of the year.

If you’re new to Situation Normal, we have a tradition. It’s called celebrating your wins. We celebrated our wins in 2020 — a year built for losing, if ever there was one. We did it the following year, too. I think we skipped 2022, or maybe I just suck at searching the Situation Normal archives. But I know for sure we did it last year, and I’m positive we’re doing it this year.

Win #1: Look the fuck out, Stephen King

I finished the first draft of a new novel. It sucks rhino-ass, but first drafts are supposed to suck rhino-ass. I’m revising. It’s getting …. better.

Win #2: Courage under fryer

The situation normie community kicked off some not-so-serious journalism at Situation Normal. Predictably, the bagel story inspired outrage, while the story about eating burritos horizontally led to mass confusion. Nevertheless, I’m looking forward to more nonsensical reportage in 2025.

Win #3: Bent (into) shape

My yoga practice is two years old.

Win #4: French insistence

When we got married, Christina and I promised each other we’d go to Paris. Fourteen years later, while watching the Olympics, we booked tickets and made good on that promise. We also rented a golf cart and drove it around the gardens at Versailles (a Situation Normal for another day).

Win #5 Christina is sleeping again

I saved my marriage by getting an APAP machine, which is the Cadillac of CPAP machines.

Win #6: Down, not out

For the first time in four decades on this planet I faced my depression. Then I faced American healthcare. It was a motherfucker. But eventually I sorted out the drugs situation, the therapy situation, and the K-Fuck Radio situation.

Win #7: Workingman’s Dead

After a 20-year career in media, I got a new job that checks all the boxes for me.

Win #8: Thinking ahead Support (Situation) Normalcy

This is a 100% free newsletter. You can support my work by sharing it, hitting the Like button, leaving a great comment, or simply sending good vibes.

You can also support Situation Normal by purchasing one of my books. Ride / Share is a collection of Situation Normal stories about my encounters with Lyft drivers. Not Safe for Work is a hilarious murder mystery. Both make great gifts.

You can also pay for a Situation Normal subscription. Two ways to do that.

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Between now and the end of the year, annual subscriptions are 50% off. That’s a year’s worth of laughter for half the price👇

Stick around and chat!

I ask, you answer.

What were your wins in 2024?

Seriously, share your wins!

It’ll make you feel good.

I promise.

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See you in January!