Acceptance
Allan Gould
Was it ever thus, this way of life,
time together as husband and wife?
Babies born and young children soon raised,
empty nest at last, dear Lord be praised.
When two become one, life works out well,
time flies by so quickly, its hard to tell
when you first begin to lose a step,
…
You may find the rest of the poem here.
Acceptance
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Analysis
The poem “Acceptance” paints a quiet yet poignant picture of a lifelong marriage, using the passage of time to reflect on the inevitability of change, aging, and loss. It doesn’t try to capture life as one big, dramatic arc but instead looks at it as a journey—slow, steady, and often marked by small moments that accumulate over the years. The poem takes us through the various phases of a relationship, from the early days of youthful love to the heart-wrenching solitude that comes when one partner inevitably passes away.
The poem’s theme revolves around the cyclical nature of life. It starts with the joy of young love and the shared experiences of raising children, moving toward the quieter, more reflective moments of aging. The speaker doesn’t just chronicle the highs but also captures the slow changes that come over time: “strength slowly ebbing,” the fading of romantic gestures, and the eventual shift from shared dependence to painful solitude. Time moves forward almost imperceptibly, leaving its mark on both the body and the relationship, until the moment arrives when one partner must leave.
The structure of the poem mirrors the passage of time in an organic way. Written in simple quatrains with an ABAB rhyme scheme, it reflects the rhythms of daily life, capturing the feeling of steady, unremarkable movement. The poem’s repetitive structure—especially the refrain “Was it ever thus, this way of life?”—creates a cyclical pattern, reinforcing the idea that life, though filled with change, often seems to move in circles, coming back to familiar points. This repetition gives the poem a reflective quality, encouraging us to think about how life, with all its changes, still feels strangely similar as we look back on it.
One of the most striking aspects of “Acceptance” is the way it portrays love not as a series of grand, romantic gestures, but as the small, everyday actions that define a long life together: sharing a mug of coffee, exchanging a kiss at the end of the day, or offering a wink across the room. The poem reminds us that love isn’t always about big moments—it’s about the quiet persistence of daily connection. The line “some stuff doesn’t get done, that’s OK” stands out as a reminder that life isn’t about perfection, and love doesn’t require constant effort to be meaningful. These small, almost invisible moments build the foundation of a marriage, turning them into something much deeper and more enduring over time.
The poem also acknowledges the inevitability of aging and the gradual loss of strength and energy that comes with it. There’s no grand statement about growing old, just the quiet observation that things change slowly, day by day, until one partner is left to navigate life alone. Even as the body slows down and memories fade, the speaker shows resilience, continuing the journey in the face of loss: “You struggle on, trying to keep up.” The final image of holding a photograph, “tears in your eyes,” evokes both grief and the quiet power of memory—showing that even in loss, love persists. It’s a poignant reminder that while time may take away, it doesn’t erase the significance of the moments shared.
Tone-wise, the poem is steady, somber, and gently reflective. The speaker doesn’t shy away from the sadness of aging or loss, but neither does it dwell on it. There’s a quiet acceptance that runs through the lines, as if the speaker has come to terms with the ebb and flow of life. The simple language, free of embellishments, makes the poem feel like a personal reflection—something anyone could experience. It’s a balance of bittersweetness and hope, showing that while life may be filled with sorrow, it’s also filled with resilience and a kind of quiet grace.
Ultimately, “Acceptance” is a meditation on the journey of life—not as a singular event, but as an ongoing process of change and growth. It acknowledges the inevitability of loss and the passage of time, but it also finds beauty in the small, everyday moments that accumulate over the years. The poem doesn’t promise answers or resolutions, but instead offers a quiet peace with life’s unpredictable rhythm. It’s not about avoiding hardship, but about accepting it and finding meaning in the simple acts of living. The journey is marked not by grand achievements or moments of success, but by the ongoing effort to keep going, to love, and to remember.
In the end, the poem reminds us that life is fleeting, but the love we share with others—though it may shift and change—never truly leaves. It carries on in the small, unnoticed gestures, the daily routines, and the memories that continue to sustain us long after the journey has taken its final turn.
Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash
