The Skulking Guardsman

This week, I have got another fantasy poem for you from the collection we’ve been building up across the past few weeks, but this one dances a little closer to the actual project I’m working on which these poems form some of the world-building for (I don’t actually know whether they will be included in the final project or not yet, as an aside, but I hope you’re enjoying them nevertheless!).

The Skulking Guardsman

Behold, the height of sophistication
according to our fiendish brethren–
the shared latrines at the delightful,
thrumming establishment,
The Skulking Guardsman.

Lost your lover? Not to fear–
simply summon Klaraz-Syn,
for a night so sultry and dear
you’ll never miss them again.

(Such is the usual form of these…
rites, shall we say–not exactly
elegant and refined, nor perfectly
poetic, but we must all make do.)

Is your boss an insufferable prick?
Is your husband a horrible old d–

Well, we need go no further into that,
but regardless, there is something quaint
about these inscriptions, something odd
in that they are not as we might expect–

The legends, we all remember–or rather,
I hope that you remember–do not describe
beings rising from the depths of Hell
through the medium of latrine wall scrawlings.

No, we are used to stories of scrolls,
found in the deepest caves, or yellowed pages
in dusty books, uncovered in libraries
or crypts–so how, then, do we explain this?

It would not be for me to say whether these
modern rites are true or forgeries–after all,
none can claim to have checked, with the current
legislation bestowed upon us by that grand council.

But… Well, I have some degree of foresight,
dear readers, so I will leave you with one last rhyme.

Luzz-Oly, Luzz-Oly, for the best of times,
for the worst of times–when you need care,
when you need help–love, protection, crimes–
Luzz-Oly, Luzz-Oly: he will be there.

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