Well, we’re a bit knackered

So, day eight at Mary’s as we sort her house and contents. It has been a struggle, I have to admit. It’s a combination of things: simply being at Mary’s without Mary here; managing her stuff, a good chunk of which, unsurprisingly, has no monetary value (other than sentimental); dealing with the expectations and sensitivities of family (Mary had no immediate family); managing my own anxiety of taking too much to the tip and overburdening charity shops; whilst maintaining our own mental health (we have fallen out a couple of times); and trying very hard to seen to be calm about it all.

We are a day away from finishing. The auction house people came today and are almost finished packing up and taking stuff that will sell away. And tomorrow, we have the lovely Amanda and Luisa (Mary’s fab carers) coming to help us clean. At that point we hope we can lock up, leave the house and come back sometime in the New Year to finish some minor points. 

To be fair we had a bit of weekend off. On Saturday we went to Windsor Castle and had a lovely lunch with Phil and Denise (thank you!). And on Sunday we popped up to town to a lunch party with Mary’s son’s (Adrian’s) friends. That gathering has pretty much been an annual thing to celebrate Adrain’s life. Mary normally hosted the lunch, with our help, but now the (mostly) boys are pulling it together themselves. Bless them … we had a fab time. 

London was fab

I think, maybe, it would be worth making a few notes of things we have learnt for those of you who are older, or have elderly parents or relatives; so that managing post-death affairs are as uncomplicated as possible. If it all seems a bit patronising, then sorry!

charity shop manPlease make a will. Please. It really helps.Please make a ‘list of wishes’, which divvies up chattels. Interestingly, this doesn’t have to sit within the will, although it should be mentioned. It is not a legal document and executors are at liberty to amend it. But without one, some relatives might get really sticky about ‘that gold chain’, or similar. Print it out and sign and date it.If the estate is likely to be less than £650,000 (for a passed husband and wife), and this includes house, chattels and all gifts given in the past 7 years (less £3,000 for each year), then your job is going to be easier. I have managed this twice very recently and it can all be done by you online.If the estate is worth more than £650,000 then you will have to complete an IHT400 form and submit it to HMRC before probate is applied for.  Inheritance tax then has to be paid (at a blanket 40% on anything above £650,000, sorry) … although you do have 10 years to pay any tax due on property, but you will pay interest on that loan.There is a clause about houses and children and £1million. I can’t help here.As we understand it HMRC have doubled down on checking inheritance tax, so it’s probably best not to cut corners.In terms of ‘gifts’, save the usual run of the mill Christmas and birthday gifts. If you do have 7 years worth of bank statements then bravo. If not, the banks will take forever (12 weeks) to get that information to you. We counted anything over £100 as a gift, put it on a spreadsheet and gave it to the solicitor.. Note that even though the deceased may have money in the bank, it’s not the executors’ to play with until probate is issued – except for a single payment to the funeral director. Make sure all funeral costs are accounted for by them, including the wake if you can, (we didn’t, which was a mistake) and they present a single bill. If you are managing the affairs, the bank will pay this one bill. If not, give it to the solicitor and they will process it for you..If you use a solicitor, then expect a bill for a medium sized estate to be in the order of £15 – 25,000. They charge c£400 an hour. If the estate is complicated then having a solicitor is a Godsend. You pays your money …Probate (which the solicitor has yet to apply for) cannot be submitted until after HMRC have told you that you can. Apparently it takes 12 weeks for probate to be processed once submitted. All-in-all for bigger estates you’re looking at a year, maybe more, before probate is issued. I did my mum’s in 7 months, but there was no tax to pay. You can market but cannot complete on any property until probate is issued.But you can sell chattels, after the list of wishes has been dealt with, but you cna’t spend the money until probate is issued. Executors have to find the cash to pay all incidental bills, including cleaning, house insurance etc. Repeating myself, you cannot take that money from the estate until probate is issued, but you can charge for reasonable interest. If you don’t have the money then either: think about whether or not you want to be an executor; or you can take a loan out, but these are more and more difficult to find apparently. Note that major creditors and utility companies will wait until probate is issued. They have no choice.Finally, house clearance. There is no payment for being an executor. And whilst it might be tempting to take stuff from the estate by way of payment, or just because you can and no one will notice, you should not. Either the stuff is gifted or, if it has value, it should be sold and shared with the estate. Now … … actual house clearance. I made up a value for mum’s and my brother’s estate as both were well below the inheritance tax threshold. However, our solicitor was clear: we need to provide a professional probate valuation. We chose a regional auction house and they provided a probate valuation (early on) and were prepared to do a complete house clearance – that is take everything, sell what they can, get rid of the rest. Beware. All of that costs money, even the probate valuation. I think we were told £1000/tonne for them taking stuff to the dump.  So. If you have the energy, then everything you can take to the tip or the charity shop will save the estate money. I have made 20, maybe more, trips to the tip. And I have embarrassed myself in far too many charity shops to be bothered to remember. Probably close to a tonne’s worth. 

I think that is it. In short, have a will and have a list of wishes. Use a solicitor for bigger estates, but you can probably manage a smaller one on your own. And, with HMRC on the prowl, don’t try to avoid the tax. I’m not sure what the penalty is, but I sense that if you’re reading this you probably don’t want a police record. 

there were two of these boot fulls of books. Charity shop again!

Stay safe.