Love in action

I responded to this tweet, as it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time.

My experience of cancer has been one where I’ve been shown so much love, generosity and kindness from near and far. The support has made a difficult six months or overwhelmingly easier – thank you.

That isn’t to say I don’t receive the same for my experiences with ichthyosis, although I think that it’s seen (by me and by others) as something I’m very used to coping with, and so I very much manage ichthyosis with minimal support..

I’ve asked for and accepted help for the first time in my life – and people helped in so many ways. They’ve cooked meals, sent vouchers for laundry and meals, avoided me when they’ve been sick,washed the dishes, folded washing, come to hospital appointments, held my hand. I let them see me at my most vulnerable; my house untidy; my skin the rawest and sorest -because of the chemo. And that didn’t come easy to me. This is mostly because of the shame associated with having a severe skin condition. So much of me gets left behind. But they have been there for me, despite. Love in action. It’s been a time of such valuable connection. I’ve appreciated it immensely.

I tweeted a reply because I regularly see disabled people treated with far less care than cancer patients receive – left discarded and isolated; gaslit, disbelieved; poor. It’s a huge contrast.

I’ve always maintained that chronic illness and disability is not a competition of who has it worse. It is all relative, and every experience is valid, no matter how insignificant it seems. Cancer shouldn’t be the illness that gets the most support. We need to view all chronic illnesses and disabilities like cancer when it comes to community support.

I hope my willingness to ask and accept help, and people’s generosity stays when I have survived cancer. And I wish this for my disabled friends too.

Image: two tweets, stacked. The top tweet is from @ byowife, it reads: “i wish being chronically ill was an experience full of caretaking, being fed homemade meals, gentle massage, making sure i take my medications, not mostly just being trapped to suffer alone begging the last people in your life to help you wash a dish every week til they hate you”. The bottom tweet is from me, it reads: “I wish this too.In my recent cancer experience, I’ve found that people’s response to someone having cancer is much different – much more involved – than when someone has another type of chronic illness. I want to see the same level of compassion for all illnesses “

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