Nestling in for Winter

"There is a privacy about it which no other season gives you... In spring, summer and fall people sort of have an open season on each other; only in the winter, in the country, can you have longer, quiet stretches when you can savor belonging to yourself."
- Ruth Stout

On the very morning I am writing this and sending it into the world, I awoke to snow. Every branch and blade of grass coated with a thick white blanket. It doesn’t matter how many winters I’ve seen - there is always magic in that first big snow. I am a four season person through and through having lived most of my life in Michigan. The seasons guide the flow of my life and my work. While we’ve lived in warm, places - Phoenix, Tennessee, Japan, I always knew we’d settle somewhere with a proper winter. It seems we have. Apparently this area gets three different types of snow storms - nor'easters, lake effect storms and Alberta clippers, which is a lot of snow. This year I plan to get out, try my legs once more at cross country skiing, snowshoeing, and hiking, but I also plan to spend a lot of time nestling in.

We don’t technically have the best place to nestle - a quarter of our home is still gutted and everything we own is still in boxes. Perhaps though, because I’m seeking comfort so badly, the tiny areas of it are easy for me to sink into. Our bed, with it’s rug ‘neath it and the duvet on it, a little bench beside it crowded with books. That’s enough. The candle lit when the sun goes down, a definite source of comfort. Our little makeshift coffee station in our hallway. That helps. And a shower, a hot shower. That’s all you need!

And nestling in, wintering, hibernating, is not only about physical comforts, but emotional and creative ones too. I recently read Katherine May’s book, Wintering, which was recommended to me many times. It’s a lovely book, which does traces the darker seasons of the calendar, but is more so an understanding of retreat in those darker times of life, when you must recoup, rest, and heal. One thing that resonated was her recounting of the pattern of wintering, how she could feel it coming on, and rather than blasting through the signs of weariness into total burnout, she could then and there decide to nurture herself through it.

I am usually pretty good about taking care of myself and my mental health through shifting workloads, and only once have experienced an internal crisis after of powering through pain. My Aunt, whom I love very much (and the only extended family I’ve ever been close with) died from cancer in 2017 and instead of stopping to grieve, I worked harder. It was a tough lesson, lots of therapy, lots of reconstructing. And now, I can see myself again trying that very tactic to somehow deny a very big and painful loss. I did take time to grieve last fall when we lost our little one and have done many things to aid in healing since. But it was also a major year for work, moving, selling a house, buying one too, and trying to settle into a normal routine.

I’ve been feeling my own signs of wintering for a while, or rather, I don’t feel them which is concerning because I’m a big feeler. Things that used to fill me with tenderness, rage, utter joy, seem to have a dullness to them. The sharpness of it all is gone. Creatively, this is terrifying if I’m honest. The deepest source, where all my work sprang from…it’s there but also hard to access. I also am struggling with the energy to give and giving is a big part of who I am. Most of my adult life I’ve had the heart of a host, and second best, a gracious guest. Now, I feel more like a witness who does not want to host a party or go to one, but instead to stand outside the window and just…witness. All of this for me is a clue that I need to take care of myself.

I need to nestle in for the winter.

While I’m cozying in, I thought I’d share some wintery comforts with you, things that are helping me get through these long months ahead. Whether it’s winter where you are too, or you’re just needing some extra warmth, I hope these little treasures help fill you up. Some are gems everyone loves and some are my closet loves that make me feel old and nerdy, and some are weird and you might hate them, but whatever. Let the nestling begin!

A Collection of Winter Treasures…

BOOKS & MAGAZINES
I’ve been reading a ton lately and have no plans to stop. Here are some I’ve read recently and loved or are on my nightstand waiting to be picked up:

Wintering by Katherine May (Enchantment is also on my list) Lives up to its hype.
Intermezzo by Sally Rooney. I loved this so much and serendipitously takes place in the dark months.
At Home - Bill Bryson Modern comforts are SO modern and not to be taken for granted.
Mary Oliver Winter Hours Digging into this one.
The Winter Book by Tove Jansson I LOVE this one.
The Terror by Dan Simmons - Matt’s recommendation if your idea of relaxation is ..well, terror.
Chickpea Magazine - all the winter ones!
And…I adore my little collection of vintage Martha Stewart Holiday magazines my mom scores from her used bookshop. <3

*I’ll also be digging into winter picture books and you can join me in The Dessert Club this month for a book tour. One of my faves *(above) is The Last Snow of Winter by Tony Johnston and Friso Henstra

MOVIES & MUSIC
It is not Christmas without Rankin Bass Snowy Claymations, but I’ve recently put a few new ones into the mix that I’m sure will become tradition..

MOONSTRUCK with Cher and Nicolas Cage - almost Christmassy, it’s actually my annual November film.
THE CHRISTMAS THAT ALMOST WASN’T but the Mystery Science Theatre Version!! Either you will hate this or you will thank me later. ;)
THE SHOP AROUND THE CORNER Oh Jimmy Stewart
WINTERSONG by Sarah McLachlan, for over a decade this has comforted me in Winter.
MY DEAR ACQUAINTANCE from Regina Spektor - this one always hits my heart.

& MORE
We may have a kitchen by the end of the week and the first things on my list are this Veggie Sausage White Bean Skillet with Kale and Sundried Tomatoes from The First Mess (I am pretty much obsessed with anything white bean and kale) and this Chai Spiced Hot Chocolate from Minimalist Baker. I have missed cooking so much, and having had a proper kitchen for half a year so I know this will help me feel more like myself. We’ll also be digging into puzzles (I collect Charles Wysocki ones from antiques stores) and decorating our tree which we put in our bedroom. It’s so cozy!!

And one more thing - a gift. Bc you know I like to share. :)
A little gift from me to you since you’re still reading! A little video from Patreon which is free for December if you’re not part of The Dessert Club. You can watch this little cutie coming in from the snow in acrylic gouache. It was one of my first painting videos on Patreon.
If you are in The Dessert Club, thank you! You can watch this month’s cozy painting video here!

Hopefully this time of year finds you snuggling in, making the most of the little joys, and finding ways to connect with others and with yourself too. Sending all my best and brightest to you and a big heap of gratitude for reading. It means the world.

XO,
Becca