I can’t remember you – Review

 Michelle Cook

I forgot you
You made me forget you
And now
Whenever I think of you
I can’t remember
Why I’m thinking of you

I think a piece of my heart
Has a muscle memory of you
But my mind can no longer be sure

…

You may find the rest of the poem here.

I can’t remember you

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Analysis

“I Can’t Remember You” is a poem that explores the process of letting go of a painful relationship and the strange way memories fade over time. The speaker reflects on how, despite the passing of time, the emotional impact of the relationship lingers in the heart, even as the mind forgets. There’s a tension between the heart’s memory and the mind’s forgetfulness, capturing the complexity of healing after a loss.

The central theme of the poem revolves around the idea of emotional release through forgetting. At first, the speaker talks about how they’ve “forgotten” the person, even suggesting that the other person may have been responsible for making them forget. This implies that the act of forgetting wasn’t a passive process but one that was perhaps forced by the circumstances of the relationship. In this sense, forgetting is a survival mechanism, a way for the speaker to move on from pain and emotional weight.

But as the poem continues, the speaker acknowledges that while the mind forgets, the heart holds on to what could be described as “muscle memory.” This idea of “muscle memory” is powerful because it suggests that emotions and memories are stored in the body in ways the mind may not fully understand. Even though the details of the relationship may blur, there is still something in the heart that remembers. This contrast between the mind’s erasure of the past and the heart’s lingering echo speaks to the complexity of emotional memory.

The structure of the poem itself reflects the disjointed nature of memory and forgetting. The free verse form, with its irregular line breaks and lack of rhyme, mirrors the fragmented and unclear process of recalling something lost. The speaker’s thoughts appear scattered, and the lack of punctuation at the ends of some lines gives the poem an unfinished, almost drifting quality. This conveys the sense that the speaker is trying to hold on to thoughts and emotions that are slipping away, much like the process of letting go of a painful memory.

Tone-wise, the poem is introspective and melancholic, but not overwhelmingly sorrowful. There’s a quiet resignation in the speaker’s voice, as if they’ve come to terms with the gradual fading of the relationship, both in their mind and their heart. The speaker doesn’t express bitterness; instead, there’s an acceptance that this process of forgetting, though difficult, is part of healing. The final lines, where the speaker says, “the pain I once felt is finally gone,” signal a sense of emotional release. It’s as if the act of forgetting, while initially uncomfortable, has brought about a kind of peace.

Throughout the poem, the speaker’s journey from confusion and loss to eventual relief is subtle but clear. The fading of the memory is not an active decision but a natural, almost inevitable part of moving on. This sense of healing is portrayed as a quiet, internal process—a shift from emotional chaos to a calm, neutral space. The poem speaks to how time and distance from the relationship help the speaker heal, not by forcing them to forget, but by allowing them to do so without resistance.

“I Can’t Remember You” is a reflection on how we remember and forget, particularly in the context of healing from a painful relationship. The poem highlights the tension between the heart’s lingering emotions and the mind’s fading memories, suggesting that while forgetting can feel like loss, it’s also part of the natural process of moving on. There’s a sense of peace that comes with the fading of the past, as time allows for emotional release. Through its structure, tone, and themes, the poem captures the quiet, often unnoticed process of letting go, offering a meditation on how we heal from heartbreak and find closure, sometimes without even realizing it.

Photo by Samuel Austin on Unsplash