Overcoming Blind Spots in Our Behavior
We all have blind spots for our behaviour; sometimes it takes someone else to challenge us on our difficult or challenging behaviours. When confronted with these blind spots, we often become defensive or deny them, confusing our behaviour with our sense of identity. We may be within our rights to confront someone about their behaviour, but how we respond makes a difference in whether the situation is diffused or escalates.
If we can respond calmly, we might even get an apology. But if we react with anger, the other person is likely to deny their behaviour. To resolve our anger, we need to identify its source and address it directly with the person involved so they understand the effect their behaviour is having on us. If we stay silent, our bottled-up frustration will probably come out as misplaced anger later.
Accountability is paramount when facing the more challenging parts of our behaviour, feelings and beliefs. While we tend to evaluate others based on their behaviour, we primarily perceive ourselves through the lens of our good intentions rather than the quality of our behaviour. This form of myopia can obscure our awareness, causing us to act out in ways that misrepresent us, and offend others. This is our shadow self or blind-side, the obscured place where opinions, beliefs and prejudices go unnoticed and unchallenged. Developing awareness of our prejudices and assumptions, when processing new information, takes mindfulness and determination. If our behaviour is causing someone distress, it’s important to identify what that behaviour is and adjust our responses accordingly. We need to take responsibility for such maladaptive behaviours by interrupting the automatic cycle that connects emotional triggers to our behaviour and actions. We achieve this through mindfulness. Regular mindfulness practice and a commitment to discovering our true potential can transform our thinking, as well as our words and actions.
When our feelings are clear and unclouded, it leads to more focused thinking. Inspired thoughts that arise from our inner directive lead to inspired action. By taking ownership of our thoughts and actions, we convey a powerful message that we are progressing toward responsibility and unlocking our true potential.
Extract from A Compass for Change – available now on Amazon.
