The state of things (34 days)

Joe’s been travelling for work. If you’ve been peeking at things over on instagram you probably knew that – it’s been going on for a while. Every couple of weeks he packs off west for a couple of weeks and I’m on my own. This is not my favourite, and the novelty has long worn off. Sure, there are perks – I do find myself good company and don’t mind being alone (sort of). It makes dinner easier, without Joe here at least I don’t have to figure out the unlikely magical dinner that we both feel like making and eating. (The first few times he was away it was a festival of cilantro around here. I love it, he hates it – I ate it every day. I considered ornamenting my oatmeal with it just because I could.) In the unlikely event I clean something it stays cleaner longer, there’s considerably less laundry, the music I play can lean as far in the Depeche Mode and new wave directions as I like and eyes remain unrollled. I don’t have to watch any movies with explosions in them, and it does free one up to knit as much as one pleases without having to rationalize that to anyone, but this isn’t really a perk since after this many years together I wasn’t doing much explaining about the knitting anyway.

The downsides? It’s a little lonely. It’s pretty quiet (though I liked that about it the first 5 trips, it’s worn off now.) I have to lift all the heavy things and do all the household jobs, even if they are particularly gross (Joe has long been trained up to handle anything like that) and I have to do all the jobs that he does, like going to the grocery store, taking out recycling, and at the end of every day I have to clean the kitchen up, which I really hate. For decades I’ve been making dinner and then just walking out of that room without so much as a glace back. I just cook and leave and at some point in before I go back into that room in the morning, Joe cleans up. I love this, and when we’re separated he always remembers how much he hates cooking, and I remember how much I hate cleaning up after cooking, and we both renew our commitment to living together.

Now, I’ve managed ok for the last several trips, but this one… well for starters I’m sick of it, and second… we’ve begun the ramp-up to the holidays, and I miss what is one of Joe’s most spectacular qualities, his seemingly unlimited ability to do errands. You can imagine how valuable this is for a holiday planning type like me. I dream it, he makes it happen. All I have to say is that I need gold staples, red ribbon, two kinds of tape and a butternut squash and Joe will leave the house and not come back until he has those things. I just keep a running list and Joe keeps going. Elliot wants a specific lego kit for Christmas? Joe will go find it. I tell him I really need black thread? Lo, it will appear. Today I am sitting here with my holiday spreadsheet open and every time I fill in a box I reflect on how much more time it’s going to take to make that happen by myself.

I sort of have it in my mind that I’ll get the bulk of Christmas shopping sorted before Joe comes back. There will be some things he’ll have to do, but he won’t have much time to do it, and I figure the shorter his list is the more likely it is that he’ll look forward to coming home. He can walk in the door, and the tree will be up, the shopping sorted, the decorating done and I’ll be … well I will undoubtedly be knitting, because this is the plan.

This my petals, is what I’m planning to knit in the next 34 days* and as usual, this feels reasonable. It is: my November Self-Imposed-Sock-Club socks. (They’re almost done but I put them on there anyway because they need doing.) A sweater for Elliot, a pair of size large socks, a pair of mittens, a pair of slippers, a size 1 baby sweater, a dress for Abigail, my December Self-Imposed-Sock-Club socks (they’re in the paper bag I don’t know what they are because I’m 56, and I packed everything into bags a year ago, and so even though logically I should know what it is because I’ve seen the other 11? No clue. Zip. Will be a total surprise) and finally, my advent socks from The Cozy Knitter.

Can I do it? Who knows. Like I said, that all seems reasonable- I mean… I’ve already done a swatch for Ellie’s sweater and it’s November still and that makes it feel to me like anything is possible, even if I do have to run all my own errands. As usual, I imagine it may be fun to watch – so I’ll keep posting here. I do owe all of you about 50 blog posts anyway, so no time like the present.

Ready? Set? KNIT.

*Not pictured are the three pairs of men’s socks which I am forced to admit shouldn’t be on the table because they are wildly aspirational and only a complete lunatic would think that they could get them done. (Note, because I am a partial lunatic they are just on another table in case it turns out that I am so amazing I even shock myself. You have to be ready for greatness, lest it find you.)