#CaitTacklesTBRPile: The Monster and the Mirror by K.J. Aiello
CN: This review mentions mental health misdiagnoses, trauma, drinking
I just finished reading The Monster and the Mirror: Mental Illness, Magic, and the Stories We Tell less than 10 minutes ago. And I keep having this singular thought: K.J. Aiello is the protagonist I didn’t know I needed.
This book is a few things at once, which my brain loves. I mean, why can’t something be more than one thing, and those more-than-one-things equal a whole thing. Right? The Monster and the Mirror is a personal memoir, offers education about mental health through conversations with folks who have these lived experiences, gives commentary about mental illness representation in fantasy and gaming, all written by one blow-me-away-with-their-insights human.
While I nodded so much at the essay and commentary parts, which probably means I will need more physiotherapy for my neck fascia (WORTH IT!), what glued my eyes to the page was the story of Aiello’s life. For me, it mirrored (okay, accidental pun) the protagonist in an epic tale, except the battles, setbacks, triumphs, heroes, and villains were all real. So were all the emotions I felt as Aiello drew me right in. I kept reading until my vision blurred, because I wanted to know where my new favourite main character was heading. I might also have shouted expletives in an unmasked Irish accent at those who held Aiello back.
Also, may I just say a thing? I strongly feel that if we took a drink every time someone who is female or female presenting was misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder, we’d soon be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. (Someone tried to diagnose me with that in the 90s. Nope, I’m autistic, but thanks for playing.) It always infuriates me how long assigned-female-at-birth humans have to wait for accurate diagnoses, whether it’s for mental health or other illnesses in the body.
Throughout the memoir, Aiello shows us how for so long, they felt they had to keep all the trauma they experienced and all the “monstery” things Aiello thought they were a secret from the people they care about. I, for one, am so grateful this author laid themself bare on the page. Because honestly? I kept saying, “Yeah, yup, oh, for sure. Relatable, relatable, so very relatable,” as I ingested this book to my core. The reality of Aiello wishing to be seen really hit me hard. This had been my wish since forever. And K.J., if you’re reading this, I not only see you but also feel seen by you. Thank you for making me feel seen. I know I won’t be alone in this either. Thank you for writing this book.
If I could rate The Monster and the Mirror 6/5 stars, I would. I can even imagine it being taught as part of curriculum in universities. I grew up in a time when mental illness was grossly misunderstood and a whispered family secret, if it was acknowledged at all. Books like The Monster and the Mirror, with its sheer honesty, will contribute more and more to normalizing talking about mental illness. Real talks, not some performative corporate motto. And, like Aiello discusses, our stories should be told by us with the nuance of our experiences and we shouldn’t solely be viewed through the lens of medical professionals who might only catch a glimpse of who we are. I also agree that a collaboration between us and medical professionals is key because our lived experiences matter, and tell a more robust tale of who we are.
The Monster and the Mirror by K.J. Aiello is published by the wonderful ECW Press. You can learn more where to buy it here. (And super fun fact, the paperback’s mirror is shiny!)
Cait Gordon is an award-winning Canadian speculative fiction writer and anthology editor who advocates for disability, mental health, and neurodiversity representation in written works. She is the author of Season One: Iris and the Crew Tear Through Space! and the co-editor (with Talia C. Johnson) of the Nothing Without Us and Nothing Without Us Too disability fiction anthologies. Cait is autistic, disabled, and queer, and really loves cake.
